relationship question

[habubbles]

is love supposed to be easy?? like love at first sight, does this ever happen? how do you now if the love you have for each other is real and that in the future you wont get a divorce? with my ex we broke up a couple of times, and always got back together, we loved each other, except she always got to a certain point in our relationship and it came to a screaching hault. its like she wont or cant go further in the relationship. whats the deal?

[lolly25]

I dont belive in love at first sight.

To me love is something which develops in time. It is when you know and understand each other inside out. It is when you know what makes someone happy and what makes someone sad. It is when you are there for someone no matter what, when you can work through things together and come out stronger on the otherside.

I am sorry to say that love does not always work tho, you can love someone but due to certian reasons and things in your life it just can not happen.

I know it is hard but when this happens you have to take it as a lesson and move on with your life.

From what you say it sounds like you and your girlfriend/ex girlfriend are un able to identfy the problems in your relationship and because of this you are not working on them and are stuck in a circle which you can not get out of.

For second and third chances to work you need to know and understand your problems and both be able and willing to work on them other wise it does not work. It also sounds like she is scared of comittment or what is going on.

I think if you want this to work you both need to sit down face to face and have a proper open honest talk. Find out how she feels and listen and let her know how you feel. You then need to figure out your problems and see if you can work on them. This is the only way to work things out.

I hope it helps.

[habubbles]

thank you lolly you are a great help, but this has happened more then once, is it a good idea that i keep getting back together with her. like i love her with all my heart.i've been treated alot worse then she treats me, so i can take it, its not hurting me in any way. but should i keep taking her back?

[lolly25]

If it keeps happening then I dont think you should as it is a sign that its not meant to be. If it has happend once fair enough but not when it happens all the time.

I know it is hard and it will take time but it sounds like it is time to call it quits and end it. If you carry on like this you will both end up getting even more hurt, find it harder to end things and will not be happy.

You will be fine and I know it will take time. Just go out and have fun with your friends, keep your self busy and you will meet someone else when the time is right and you least expect it.

If you do not want to end things then it could be worth taking a break from each other for a month to figure out how you both feel and what you both want. Dont communicate with or see each other in this month. Use this opprotunity to spend time with your friends, do the things that you want to do and relax and then meet up after the month and have a talk.

I personally feel the best action would be to end things tho before you get more tangled up in the mess and even more hurt.