Getting Tested.

[blue toxin]

Trying to think of a way I can talk to this girl about getting tested. Her and I are "dating" and it's pretty obvious we'll soon be in I guess what you could call an official relationship. We've been very open with each other about everything we've talked about, and things are going great. She told me about her past, I told her about mine, etc.

Turns out Planned Parenthood does free testing. But I don't want to offend her by saying whoa whoa before anything happens we're both getting checked out. She told me she's been petrified and really paranoid to catch anything so anybody she's messed around with she's been cautious and very sure about.

Here's essentially how our pasts went down:

I only messed around with one girl. That girl was a complete virgin.

As far as her, she's dated 3 guys. One she gave a handjob to (he was a virgin), the next, they did oral (he was also a virgin), and the last boyfriend she had she went all out with, however before they did ANYTHING she made him get tested. His results were negative.

So on one hand I'm like ehh maybe I shouldn't really bother with that, but on the other it's like, why not dude it's free.

I just don't want to offend her with it...

[vashti]

Tell her you want to protect her, and therefore want to have this done and want her to do the same.

[Junket]

Yeah, make sure she does it too.

It'd be great if you showed up negative.

And it's be not so great if you showed up positive after you break up.

Not to suggest that that would ever happen or anything...

[Gigabitch]

Actually, it sounds to me like you're never going to get to meet Hello Kitty without a clearance from a testing authority anyway. Why would you think she wouldn't insist on it herself?

[Blix]

If she asked the other guy to she'll probably ask you to do it anyway so.

~Blix

[blue toxin]

Well her and I were talking before we even had a "hunch" to get together, and we just talked very openly. She actually asked me, and I told her yeah I've gone all the way. I said my ex and I were both virgins and were dating for years, since before we could even drive.

Soo... she DID ask me, and I think my answer makes her confident that I'm okay. I of course, know I am. But there's no way in hell I'd make her get tested without me getting tested too.

I'll bring it up sometime when it seems to be the best time. In reality I am trying to protect her. And the truth is, I'll always have some distant paranoia about it unless I actually get tested. To me I use the analogy of having sex with a condom and no other form of birth control. Constantly paranoid, always looking to make sure it's okay and doesn't have a tear, etc. Hell if we both got tested and were negative (and in the analogy, added birth control into the mix) then I'd be gettin my groove on and havin a good ole time!!

So yeah. We'll see. Thanks for the answers!

[Gigabitch]

Ask her if she donates blood, and if so how often. The Red Cross runs 14 different blood tests on your blood donations; obviously they can't be distributing blood-bornes. You can donate every 8 weeks, and if you never hear anything about it (i.e., don't get a letter saying you can no longer donate) there's a pretty good chance you're clean.

That's a great idea. Can you call them, you know, to offer more blood later and confirm that they've cleared you?

[vashti]

The only problem with the Red Cross idea is that they are only testing for HIV/AIDS, syphillis and hepatitis. HPV (the virus that leads to genital warts) is horrendously common, and is detected through a pap smear.