After 1 year...I still can't forget.

[Fayne]

So it's been a little over a year since my relationship with my ex girlfriend ended. But somehow no matter how much i tell myself to forget her.

I can't, my heart won't bring myself to it. I got rid of everything that may remind me of her. But my mind still remembers..At times i'll give up and say part of me still loves her very much. But the other half says it was never going to work out.

It's a constant struggle between the two. Common sense against my feelings for her...I really want to move on..i thought i had but I'm just lying to myself and to my family and friends...I also cut all contact with her. So i wouldn't falter and contact her in case i felt really down. I could use some advice..

[clearskies]

'I got rid of everything that may remind me of her' that is an excellent step... I have heard a chinese saying that says a new relationship makes you forget and overcome a failing one. Really, I tried that but it was like a pain killer and after a short time, the main problem comes to surface again..
I can not advice you much as i am in that position and we are apart for more than 4 years and half.

[Gigabitch]

This is work, and it's not easy. You have to try to forge new relationships. She's haunting you like a ghost- let other people into your life so she has no reason to hang around.

[lesa]

This is work, and it's not easy. You have to try to forge new relationships. She's haunting you like a ghost- let other people into your life so she has no reason to hang around.

Wow that is an interesting perspective. It can be true many times. You may always be haunted but not so often.

[squirrley]

I can tell you from past experiences it will take awhile to get over it. I don't think you EVER forget a person you are deeply in love with, they will always have a place in your heart(a small part over time). Having new relationships does help moving on as long as you enter with good intentions and not the intent just to forget. Its not fair to that person. Stick to light dating.

Its been almost well over 10 years since my break up which was a bad one, but I won't ever forget him. As bad as it ended, I keep telling myself which is true, it was for the best and led me to the person who I truly belong with. Consider it a stepping stone to the person whose really going to have your everything!

[littlewing]

Try making a list; 10 things that are good about your breakup, think of how bad things would have been for you if you two stayed together... most importantly it's time to be strong, life isn't easy

[Kromat]

I think anyone can become good and stay that way, if they surround
themselves with positive people and help them through the tough times.
If that person wasn't meant for you, maybe he'll make someone
else happy, you never know how people change after a breakup.

Life is about learning, and maybe that scenario will make him change himself and
treat people with respect and how they are suppose to be loved to stay in a relationship.

[clearskies]

Try making a list; 10 things that are good about your breakup, think of how bad things would have been for you if you two stayed together... most importantly it's time to be strong, life isn't easy

LIFE IS NOT EASY , not like what we thought it was when we were young, all what we wanted came to us w/o doing work but now it is not like that .. that is 100% right littlewing.

[FoxyLaydee]

It's really not easy getting over someone. Some take longer than others, it took me 3 years to get over my previous BF. I can tell you that once you get over that person, it's the best feeling ever!

Thinking about it, I wasn't ready to let go but after a while, it dawned on me that it didn't get me anywhere thinking about him, pondering on what could have been etc so it was better to let it go and move on.

Kept myself busy with family and friends. Started a couple of new hobbies and everything just fell into place. You'll get over her, Fayne - just bear in mind it won't happen overnight - it takes time.

[Jbleezyj]

Don't try to forget what you had with that person. I'm sure it was probably great till it came crashing down. You want those memories to reminisce about, unfortunately good things don't always last forever so sometimes memories is all you will ever have.

Your not going to get over the person by trying to forget them. Go ahead remember the good times. What you should really do is just keep yourself busy and very social. Eventually you will realize you are wasting your time if you are still dwelling on the past wishing it were still happening to this day.

You should know that there are many great memories to made in your future and you won't be able to enjoy them if you are crying about something that you have no control over.

I have had someone I love pass away, and yes It was hard for me, to move on was tough. Am I ever going to forget that person. Hell no! I'm glad we had everything that we did. I still look back and wish it could be how I wanted it to be. But it had taught me that things don't always work the way you want.

It may be a while but you have to go on with your life and try to be more optimistic about things. You only got one life so try to enjoy it all while you can. Many people you love in your life will come and go so make the best of it now while you can. In reality we are only living for the great memories we will be able to look back upon and say wow.

That's just my 2 cents for you on the situation though. Always helps me get on with my life.

[Fayne]

Thanks for the input everyone. Memories is the only thing i have now. I'm guessing this won't be any easier even after 1 year. But like everyone said i can still rely on my friends and family.

I think it'll be awhile until i make much more progress, i'm in a situation at the moment where i can't meet much new people because of my job and age. But I am definitely looking forward to getting over this obstacle

[Kromat]

I think it'll be awhile until i make much more progress, i'm in a situation at the
moment where i can't meet much new people because of my job and age. But
I am definitely looking forward to getting over this obstacle

Don't think of your age as a burden, try new things and open up,
meeting new people is easy, someone that will love you for who
are and develops into a relationship worthwhile, is harder.

Go to places you normally wouldn't go, or going with friends
to meet people, just enjoy life and it will eventually happen.

[clearskies]

Fayne, glad to know u have family & friends support. i never had that..it will help.