I am dating this guy in his late 30's. He has no car (not a huge deal), is always complaining about being broke, although he works full time. He hardly ever pays for my meal when we go out-sometimes I end up paying for us both. He has been overdrawn twice (at least that he admitted to me) in the few months I've known him. He has no heat in his apartment because its been cut off for a few years (!). He tells me his credit sucks...He has no assets. He also says he has major school debt and creditors after him all the time. I'm worried that if I stay with him I will end up wearing the pants and that does not appeal to me at all.
On one of our first dates he looked out the window at two pretty girls outside. When I asked him what he was looking at, he said "two well-dressed girls....{pause}...but you are the prettiest thing in front of me." He almost said it as if he had to, since I caught him-I mean we had just started dating and he did this! At other times he seems so sweet and tells me I am the girl he has been looking for all his life. He talks about wanting a serious relationship, but sometimes I wonder if he is even ready for that. By the way, he pined after me for 10 years before finally getting me! Maybe it was the thrill of the catch that is now over and he is disappointed.
I will text him and sometimes he doesn't return the text until days later-if at all. I would think that if you really liked someone they would respond in a more timely manner, right? Am I asking too much of him? He is the one who said he wanted something serious with me. So I give him serious. Maybe my idea of "serious" is way off.
Is this guy just way too immature? Am I being too needy? Should I even be interested in a guy who doesn't seem to want to be the supporting type, when that is what I am looking for? I mean, I'm all for equality in the relationship financially, but when it is so one-sided, I'm not so sure. I pride myself on not being judgmental of people, but I'm just wondering if I am headed down the wrong path with this guy. In other ways, we seem like soul-mates. We are so similar and have a lot of the same interests. He is really attractive and I've never had such a cute boyfriend. I really admire him in many ways. He is smart, funny, and talented.
Another issue is that he will be going out-of-state in a few weeks for almost a year to do a training program. Why would he consider this if he wanted to be with me?
What's the deal here? Is he still in "boy" mode? I keep hoping I'll see glimmers of "responsible man", but I just don't see 'em. Sigh...I guess my romantic notion of "true love" was a big joke. I should have known better than to have dreams (i.e. expectations) and to impose them upon this poor guy. He doesn't seem ready to settle down yet.