foreign love HELP!!!

[elsa20]

i'm a chinese girl,living in shanghai.i just started a romantic relationship with an american guy who lives in US(2 weeks ago). few days ago, he told me on the internet that he felt extremly unappreciated and he felt that i was not so focused on his feelings and needs. i feel frustrated that it seems we have already had some big problems at the begining of our relationship. well, inside me,i really care for him, and i really want to do something for him.

well, there're other big barriers between us:

--i'm 20.he's 51
--i grow up and live in china, he america.so he has to come to see me by air,becasue i'm still a student.
--obviously,the culture difference is inevitable.so ,maybe my being reserved, in his eyes, is ignoring him.i have to say this is a big trouble in our connection, plus i am not good at expressing my feelings, especially in english!


now,i need some advice about how to,or what i should do to convince him that i care for him ,his feelings and needs.

HELP!!!
ps.we dont have real ultimate sex,but he does oral sex to me,i dont him.is it one reason for his that kind of feeling?

i need your advice

[shh!]

Ugh! He is manipulating you! You can't really be so naiive, can you?

Tell him to go find some old broad his own age. I know Chinese women are limited in number due to the reproduction laws, so I know you can do better.

[anachronistic]

you've only been dating him for 2 weeks. tell him to roll his tongue back into his mouth, and then dump him.

[elsa20]

you've only been dating him for 2 weeks. tell him to roll his tongue back into his mouth, and then dump him.

well,guys,i know you are on my side,thanks,but i just dont understand why it seems you neither dont like him?

i really appreciate that he flew 7500 miles to see me with knowing IN ADVANCE that we would not have real sex,(cause i still wana be a virgin) and he didnt break his proimse.i think this does tell something, and this is also why i believe i can trust this guy & i wish a long-term relationship with him.

em,it was before his complaints ,i asked him was he attracted just physically?it was quiet a stupid question,wasn't it,because obviously he doesn't need to fly such a long way to have sex ,to be more accurate ,only oral sex... i also did something else and let him down,like asking "are you serious to me" for several times. i looked back and do find that i was subconsiously pushing him away,so his complaints were quiet reasonable.i really didn't show enough attention on him, while he was so gentle and considerate.

any suggestion for me? can i do something for him to let him know i care for him? i'm not sure when we gona meet next time. i can feel he's really disappointed.

[shh!]

I suppose you can have sex with him... that's what I'm sure he was hoping for, the dirty old bastard. And for the record, yes there ARE men who can't easily get sex with appropriate women in the US and therefore travel long distances to get young foreign girls. You should be asking yourself why he can't find someone his own age closer to home. There are plenty of single women closer to his age... they just won't have him.

[elsa20]

Ugh! He is manipulating you! You can't really be so naiive, can you?

Tell him to go find some old broad his own age. I know Chinese women are limited in number due to the reproduction laws, so I know you can do better.

you've only been dating him for 2 weeks. tell him to roll his tongue back into his mouth, and then dump him.

I suppose you can have sex with him... that's what I'm sure he was hoping for, the dirty old bastard. And for the record, yes there ARE men who can't easily get sex with appropriate women in the US and therefore travel long distances to get young foreign girls. You should be asking yourself why he can't find someone his own age closer to home. There are plenty of single women closer to his age... they just won't have him.

thanks, shh . i think i have waken up now. he didn't connected with me for several days at all, even a single message or a call. if he seriously falls for me,this should not have happened ,right? i guess the game's over now,and he has realized . i just feel sooooo lucky that i didn't lose my virginity to a player. thank you,shh, i really appreciate it.=) i need to be more careful .ehhhh,sometimes i 'm just incrediblely naive.

by the way,he lives in the same city with you,em,it's beverly hills. i wish someday i will visit your city.

good luck for you,shh

[Tedel]

Get someone your age girl. Being Asian doesn't mean being a fool.

[starbuck]

Good for you, elsa. You're not naive. Naive would be actually sleeping with the guy. Something inside you rang the alarm bells and you asked for help here. People just told you things you already knew deep down inside. Sometimes it takes a kick in the pants to wise up.

Just cut off contact with the guy. It will help you free up your time so that you can find a nice younger guy who is a better match for you. Good luck!

[devilz advocate]

thanks, shh . i think i have waken up now. he didn't connected with me for several days at all, even a single message or a call. if he seriously falls for me,this should not have happened ,right? i guess the game's over now,and he has realized . i just feel sooooo lucky that i didn't lose my virginity to a player. i need to be more careful .ehhhh,sometimes i 'm just incredibly naive.

good for you Elsa that you have waken up!
Being naive is not good, your just fooling yourself!
He's like a father to you (the age gap). find a guy who truly loves you! i know there are lots in your place.