sorry its so long but i really need help please

[tl me]

my wife and i have been married for 4 years 1st day of jan she tells me thats shes been lieing to me for the whole time we've been together i thought that i was the only man that she had been with (i took her virginaty when she was 19 i was 20) when we were young we never really dated just messed around all the time than after about 2 years of that we got together & about a year after that we got married come to find out she was sleepinng with a guy she worked with & that had a gf after a month of lies & many oscure winning perfomances i finley got the truth out of her (I think) she tells me that she had sex with him 3 times 1 at her moms house and if mom knew she would kill her self & she was meeting him while she was working 2 blow him in his car (she says this happened 5-10 times she cant remember) this went on for a month than she says that she relized that it was wrong & didnt want the people at work to find out and think she was a slut now i know this is her past but after i think that we r moving on with this she tells me that with in the last 6 months she has got a phone call,messages on the work computer& that they were facebook buddys when i asked y she even picked up the call she said that they hadnt talked in 5 years & was just curious when i asked about what she just said i dont know just 2 c what he wanted now ladies they were not friends they didnt share any deep converstions from what she tells me she knew what he wanted right? the same thing that every guy wants from the girl he was cheating on his gf with. sex. she knew that even him calling her & her picking up would piss me off she says all they talked about is work & life genral stuff. so y did she need to talk on the work computer & facebook then if she had got her curiosity fix from the phone call please help me my heart is smashed everything that i tought we had is gone from a womens point of veiw what do u think is going on here? can we fix this or r we done any help or advise will help so much

[Gigabitch]

Okay.

1) Decide whether or not you can forgive her for lying to you for years.

2) Decide if you can forgive her for having slept with someone else when you thought you were the only one.

3) Tell her that the other guy has to go and if she ever has contact with him again, you'll consider it a broken deal.

4) Forge a new understanding with your wife and move forward.

[girl68]

Funny she cares about what her mom thinks. She cares about what work people think. But no where do you say that she cares about what YOU think.