Dilemma

[Sarah.]

Hey everyone,

I just can't stop thinking about the person I love and the relationship that connects us.
Could anyone please help me with some advice? I would be very thankful!

I thought that maybe if I share my thoughts with you and listen to what you say, I might come to a solution. I hope I will eventually find some peace of mind.

So here's what happened..

My girlfriend Sarah and I were in a relationship for about half a year until she had to move to another country (for personal reasons) where she has been living for 4 months now. When she left we (she) decided that it would be best to break up for as long as we are apart, and to simply see if we want to be in a relationship again when we see each other again. We thought this way we don't feel caged in or anything, and we have some space and freedom to figure out what we really want while we are apart.

Well, when Sarah left I thought the whole world would break down. It seriously was a surprise to me to find the world still intact, the sun still shining, the birds singing, and people around me laughing, after she left. How can those people be so happy?, I thought.

Sarah and I never really broke up after she left. We loved each other so much, had great difficulties dealing with the absence of our loved one. (God, how much I missed her!). We wrote each other letters, sent parcels, skyped, talked on the phone.. we had as much contact as possible, which was at least twice a week. Everything went okay, according to the circumstances.

At least until a few weeks ago when the contact became less (because of her, not me) and she told me she thinks she may have feelings for someone else. We skyped a few days later, and decided it would be best to break up.

I love this woman. She is amazing, beautiful, super intelligent and has such a wonderful personality! We got on SO well when we were physically together. We cried happiness, loved each other every day, and spent hours talking and laughing and fully enjoying each other's company.

Now she seems to like someone else. I can't believe she can just move on like that, and find other people attractive again and everything!
But there is little I can do about it.
We will see each other again in about two months, though. If we will come back together I don't know.

Do you guys think it would be better for me to give up on her and our love? We live in two different countries, far away from each other, and if, each time we are physically apart (which will be quite often), she'll start to like someone else again, I will die from inside.
But on the other hand, we were so amazingly happy when we were physically together. I have never felt such all-embracing happiness before. I can't just give up on this, I don't know how to! And I am so afraid that I will never love like this again. This love is SO strong! (at least from my side. but when we were physically together I was so convinced that she felt the same way!)

I would fight for this love, but not such extent that I follow her around like a dog and give up on my pride.
And the level of pain I can take is limited as well. I have already been through so much pain since we've been separated!

But isn't it worth it!?

Would you say it is best to separate from her and try to forget her so that I won't feel this horrible pain again?
Or is it best to try to make her love me again once we see each other, running risk of being so terribly disappointed and sad again?

Please help me, and tell me how to keep going, guys.
I am clueless.

I'll be thankful for any advice.

[Boisdevie]

The circumstances are not good. And if you were both so wonderfully happy why has she found somebody to replace you? Doesn't sound good does it? I'd find somebody who lives near you that you can actually spend time with in the real world rather than long distance.

[Sarah.]

I don't know why she likes other people again.. it is really hard for me to understand, since we both were so happy together only a few months ago.. and I am so sure she didnt act all that, I don't think anyone could act that well. She must have loved me, too, right? I have never been in love before, I am not a person to fall in love just like that, I am not even interested in other people, I cant look at other people in a hey-youre-attractive-way, because I only love that girl!! I don't know how to get over it :/

[steviej]

Unless one of you will move to be with the other then i really can't see anything but frustration and unhapiness for you both. Am guessing you're both fairly young, and with her moving away she has probably met a lot of new people which is always fun and exciting! This is why she is finding it easier, she's in a new place with new people - lots of distractions and nothing to remind her of you, whereas you are still back there and nothing has changed except she has gone leaving a big hole.

You will find someone again, although it doesn't feel that way right now!