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Thread: I don't like the way he talks.

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    I don't like the way he talks.

    I have been dating a man for 3 months now,we became very close within a very short time and we have both told each other we love each other.My boyfriend never uses the term making love, when we are intimate it is always sex which now I have learned to accept,but last night he said if you ever wake up in the middle of the night and you want to get laid just let me know.I said no I don't want to get laid and never will and I told him I did'nt like the comment and he laughed.What do you think?am I too sensitive or am I over reacting and how can I approach this with him?

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    how can I approach this with him?
    I think you already did when you told him you didn't appreciate him referring to your love making in such a manner. If he does it again then gently remind him that it's offensive to you. If he laughs and does it again after a second time, well then you decide if you can just enjoy what you have itogether and not worry about his ways or that you're unable to tolerate his verbal usage and dump the poor chump. It's up to you to decide what is most important to you but just know while deciding that we can ask for what we want, but we can't control others and if they don't concede to your request then you have a decision to make.

    Good luck, if you're just calm and straight-forward about what you want and don't make him defensive about it, I think you'll have a better chance at getting what you want.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    I think you're being too sensitive.

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    Me too... Getting laid and loving it is rather rare... Enjoy it and always try to feel him and not translate him!

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    I dislike men with no finesse. It demonstrates a lack of class. I agree with wakeup that you have already expressed your feelings, so there is nothing more to do other than to wait and see if he can raise himself to your level.

    Either that, or perhaps he really DOES just think of your sex life as simply "getting laid", in which case, eww.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    My woman tells me exact terms that she absolutely hates. I respect her and I basically erased them from my vocabulary.

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    I dislike men with no finesse. It demonstrates a lack of class.
    As a man I have to agree with Vashti. For me sometimes we "make love", sometimes it's more passionate. Whatever we call it, we both express our feelings to each other, which I think is important. We both have an open attitude about sex, and no hangups really. I see 2 problems here: 1) your guy has no class, and probably has trouble expressing his emotions, because he ALWAYS refers to it as sex, 2) you sound a bit too sensitive to this issue.

    For you, try to lighten up and enjoy things with no expectations. For him, he needs to learn to refer to it as "making love" half the time, if only to make you feel better. There needs to be a balance with both parties getting their needs met. Ok?
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    I just told him how I felt and he see's absoulutley nothing wrong with it and added I am bipolar,so needless to say he has been dumped.

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    You're all cunts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trexy View Post
    I just told him how I felt and he see's absoulutley nothing wrong with it and added I am bipolar,so needless to say he has been dumped.
    Pity... That's your decision though, so it acceptable! I don't think you are bipolar but I agree there's nothing wrong with it...

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    To be fair to this dude, you do sound a little erratic and over sensitive. Its not 1950. The only men that should use the term "making love" are gays and barry white. As for giving him the elbow for calling you bi polar, just lol. He is obviously just messing with you and trying to get you to take the stick out your ass. My advice is to lighten up a little. Very few men use the term making love these days, in fact very few women use it either.

    As for the bra burners in the thread that think a mans vocabulary is a reflection of a mans class, this is very narrow minded. Never be blinded by a mans words. Its his actions you should should judge him on. Most lawers and politicians have a good grasp of language, but very few act with "class". Think about it wenches.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    My woman tells me exact terms that she absolutely hates. I respect her and I basically erased them from my vocabulary.
    My god.
    5 years, and your balls will be on a plate. Never let any human being dictate what you can and cant say. Wtf is wrong with people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mwahahaha View Post
    The only men that should use the term "making love" are gays and barry white.
    Is your vocabulary really so limited that you cant manage to find something less wimpy than "making love" and more dignified than "getting laid"?

    Your educational system has failed you.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    Is your vocabulary really so limited that you cant manage to find something less wimpy than "making love" and more dignified than "getting laid"?

    Your educational system has failed you.
    Um, no. Some guys are just idiots. I used to work in a public school system. I finally had to accept the fact that some people are unteachable, regardless of which school system they are in.

    Quote Originally Posted by doppelmakemelol
    You're all cunts.
    I'll see your cunts, and raise you 2 twats, you git.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by mwahahaha View Post
    To be fair to this dude, you do sound a little erratic and over sensitive. Its not 1950. The only men that should use the term "making love" are gays and barry white. As for giving him the elbow for calling you bi polar, just lol. He is obviously just messing with you and trying to get you to take the stick out your ass. My advice is to lighten up a little. Very few men use the term making love these days, in fact very few women use it either.

    As for the bra burners in the thread that think a mans vocabulary is a reflection of a mans class, this is very narrow minded. Never be blinded by a mans words. Its his actions you should should judge him on. Most lawers and politicians have a good grasp of language, but very few act with "class". Think about it wenches.
    She may have jumped the gun by dumping him or she may have added up all the negatives and had enough self-worth to exit before she let it go on any further.

    I think she did judge him on his actions. She asked him to stop using what to her were vulgar terms and he laughed at her (a disrespectful action that told her he wasn't about to change) and then called her bi-polar. (an action to turn the heat off of himself and place it back on her). So: Two actions that tell her that she's had enough of him and that they're likely not compatible enough to last the test of time. This "wench" says; Think about that ya scurvy knave. ;o)
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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