Whats going on?

[cheazypeaz]

Hey guys,

i was kind of wondering whats going on with my head at the minuite, i dont seem to know what i want, or for that matter i dont see much of a future for myself with anything, i'm that kind of person, i feel i dont need to think about whats going to happen in a few weeks, i take life as it comes. in other words if i was to do something, i wouldn't plan it so much, i would just do it as and when i feel like it if at all possible.

Anyway, the way i'm relating this is to my personal life. at the moment as some will know, i am single, and have been for almost 4 months. I dont want to get back with her, infact i havent spoken to her in a long time, and if i do see her i would ignore her. I am not going back there to get hurt again and again. I do think about her alot, and how it was, and i do miss the life of having a girlfriend, but at the same time feel so much more unrestraint to be single.

Now at the moment, i feel that i'm leaving myself out from all the fun, hell i'm 17, i should be out with the ladies, having a good time, but it dosent really seem to be for me at the moment? i dont know why exactly but i dont seem to have any motivation to have a girlfriend whatsoever, i'm very calm around girls, i'm not a particualy shy person.

But whats happening here? i dont have a girlfriend, i dont know if i want one, i dont even know if i want sex, its because i'm taking life as it comes, right? but am i a fool if i just sit here and wait for something to come to me? i feel i'm cheating myself somehow, got loads of free time, im sure someone would appreciate me, and i could appreciate them?

No motivation i suppose! any suggestions, what should i do, i need to stimulate my life a bit more, i seem to be doing nothing at the moment towards a life with the other sex...

Give me some advice LF experts,

Thanks,
Spike

[vashti]

So long as you are busy being somehow productive, I wouldn't worry about the girls too much. You have plenty of time to deal with the headaches they cause in the future. At 17, it is much better to concern yourself primarily with educational goals, sports, maybe a part-time job, hobbies, things like that.

Just don't waste your life by playing video games all day. It is good to some extent to "take life as it comes", but it is really important to have a goal to work towards. Working towards and acomplishing goals are the things that make up self-esteem.

[clynn]

Hey...it is good to not feel like you HAVE to have a girlfriend.

Sooner or later you'll get the urge, you're probably feeling a bit exhausted from your past trying experience. It is really healthy (I think) to have some time to regroup after a relationship.

One day you'll probably meet someone who intrigues, and you'll find that suddenly....you want a girlfriend again!

[Ellynn]

So your taking a break....from the whole dating stuff. Not a bad thing... I mean you are also 17....so you have plenty of time. Sometimes people just need that break....from dating etc. I know IM on one right now. Its mainly becuz there really isn't anyone out there I am interested in currently....and Ive been kinda busy with other stuff.......and well....IM 24.....and still Im not too worried about it.

I figure when something is worthwhile......it will happen... Just like all the other relationships I got into in the past. Sure they might not have worked out to my liking....but at least I had those experiences...

You have alot of time ahead of you. So don't worry so much...and just enjoy taking life a day at a time.

[cheazypeaz]

well at the moment i dont even have a job, im not in education and life is really sucky, i am not too pleased with the way things are going, i do find myself sat bored at the computer alot, i feel i should be doing something with my life.

the whole dating thing i just dont really know about, sometimes i think 'ooo i would love someone here to talk to me and give me a hug when im down' but other times i think 'thank god im single i really cant be bothered with all that women bring' ..

so i'm in 2 minds at the moment, i think i need a job, maybe somewhere i could socialize a bit more with people. i do have friends dont get me wrong, but when you see them every day it does get a bore!

spike

[Rosebud]

OK so how about you do something about the way your feeling? Put the girlfriend stuff on the back burner for now and do things for you that will make You feel better about yourself so in the future you can be truly happy with yourself which will in turn help you find a healthy relationship. Look for a job, or go back to school. Get that stuff taken care of but one thing at a time.

If you try to do too many things at once you will overwhelm yourslef and be back here again wondering what to do next.