He's not attracted to me.

[GwenJade]

My partner and I are going through a very rough patch at the moment. We are both reassessing the relationship. We lack common interests, like reading, etc. He admits he takes no interest in what I do (I study music and psychology) and never will, and our sex life is nonexistent.

Two weeks ago, my boyfriend of a year and a half told me he isn't attracted to me, but he likes my personality. I delved for clarification, and he openly stated that he has never been physically attracted to me.

I was distraught by this comment, and though I do love that my personality comes first, to be told that I am not physically attractive was a blow.

In the last few weeks, both of us have been trying, and there so far as been no success. Now, I understand that these things take time.

My problem is we were getting physical a few days ago, and I just couldn't have sex with him. My mind could not get over that he wasn't attracted me.

He then shut down and became stoic and uncommunicative. I really needed a cuddle, and some reassurance, and he wasn't able to offer it. Fine. But he was that moody that I ended up apologising and comforting him.

In the last few days, he had not been texting me like usual, or calling me. He is very distant. I have asked if he's okay, and I get no response.

I don't know what to do.

I've attached a photo...I don't think I'm ugly.

[Ariadne]

You're a pretty woman (LOVE your bangs) so I feel certain that his lack of attraction has more to do with how distant you've been with each other than the other way around. It sounds like he's just given up--especially if he was willing to just blatantly tell you that he doesn't think you're attractive. That's just cold. If I were you, I'd move on to someone I had more in common with and who could appreciate my interests. You're clearly very intelligent if you study psychology, you're pretty, and based on your posts it seems like you have a lot of love and understanding to bring to a relationship. Find someone who will appreciate it.

[sweetkissesforu]

Sometimes men like to blame their partners so dont take it to heart and you are very pretty

[xxazurexx]

I'd tell him that if he thinks he can find any better.....go ahead and find it. Hang up and never call the insensitive prick again.

[seshirure]

I agree with sweetkissesforu.
It feels like it wasn't the reason after all and he clearly doesn't want to tell you why.

[doppelgaenger]

Attraction is not a choice.

[Boisdevie]

It's not just how people look - it's far more than that. Sounds like he's the one with the problem not you.