I've lost

[TAVS]

I've lost her. It's all but official. She's moving. All hope is lost. She still invites me to come with her, but how can I after what she's put me through for the past four months? How can I leave my friends and My mom with nobody here her? How can I move away from the place I've called home all my life to live in shit town? I'm falling apart here guys.

[Tone]

Yikes, that sucks man...

I wouldn't lose all hope quite yet. You just never know what will happen. But one thing you do know is you HAVE to hold up strong right now.

I agree that I wouldn't move away with her unless she wants to be with you, not wait another 2 more months bullshit... it's up to you. You've lived there your whole life, maybe it's time to leave? Like I said before, your mom would want THE BEST for you, and obviously right now this girl is the one who makes you happy... so don't use her as an excuse - don't think she'd blame you or anything. You're grown up, I'm sure she wants you to have a family of your own, and right now this girl is the closest you have to it.

You need to talk to her (your girl)... you guys have to get some things straightened out before she leaves.

[TAVS]

I'm going to try Tone. She's agreed to have a serious conversation about all this on Saturday, but she'll be at work so I don't know. She's working a lot right now and this is the best she can do. She says she'll be able to make time for me though. It would be easier if there was something for me up there where she's moving. I have everything down here but her (Friends, Family, Career). She has everything up there except me (Friends, Family, jobs suck). One of us would have to make a complete sacrifice. At least here where we are now, there are opportunities. Where she's moving, there's nothing but small town desert ville.

[shh!]

Poor TAVS. I wish you were giving us good news. I guess sometimes people just aren't a match, even if they are both good people, and sometimes the timing is just bad. Your day will come.

This is turning out to be a crappy day in the forums.

[TAVS]

So prior to this whole thing, we were together for over 4 yrs. What do you guys think about Long distance relationships? Do they all end badly? We would be 4 hrs apart and I'd quit my 2nd job so I could drive up there most weekends. Just a thought I had. Maybe with time we'd find a better solution.

[Lloyd95]

I've yet to hear of a long distance relationship work, but I guess it's possible.

[shh!]

Maybe you could try it out for a finite amount of time (a month or two?) and then re-evaluate. I understand it gets old fast, but I can't speak from experience.

[TAVS]

It was a stupid idea. Just a lame attempt to try and make her realize moving was a mistake. I've been with this girl for over 4 yrs, I know her well enough to know she's making a mistake. I just had an enlightening talk with a co-worker who's relocated for her husband who's in the airforce. As unhappy as I'd be here alone, I think I'd be more unhappy with her up there. My belief in the power of love is quicky disappearing

[TAVS]

So tonight I picked her up after work. I asked if she meant it when she said I could come with her on the move or if she was just saying that. Well to my surprise, it was the latter. She doesn't want me to come with her. Guess I have lost 100%, and I have no idea why. I cant even tell you how confused I am about how we went from marriage to absolutely nothing in a matter of months! I have absolutely no clue what went wrong. I've totally been strung along over the past four months while she pretended to still care.

[Late_vamp]

ask her what happened ? you deserve to know the truth ...thats the LEAST she can do .

[TAVS]

I'm going to try this Saturday. She says she'll have a real conversation with me but I can't get my hopes up. As I mentioned in the other guy's thread, she never really shares her feelings with anyone. I'll be lucky to get 1/3 of my questions answered. I would also like to add that I'm doing alright. Sometimes a resolution, even a bad one, is better than wondering. We'll see how I do over the next few days. This board is very theraputic.

[Shadowfox426]

Confront her, harshly if you need to get what is up out of her. You diserve to know that much at least. And no I do not mean hit

[Mish]

Poor Tavs

Maybe you could try no contact for next 2 months and leave her to her own devices. Ofcourse you will loose clarity and control of the situation, but it may just give her enough time to realize her mistake and enough time to miss your company and comfort. Maybe talk to her and say you think it's time to have no word until the 6 months period you guys set out is over? Then she will have enough time to find out what its REALLY like to be without you and decide for herself if she really wants it to end this way. It's a shitty end, i know, but maybe in a new town all by herself without the support you ussually give her she will realize just how wrong she really was? But then again she might just find somebody else and move on. It's a pickle and i guess really is your call. I'd leave it at no contact and speak again in 2 months time (Just get her promise to be faithful during that time).

I really feel for you. You have a lot of strength for putting up with crap like this (I know i wouldn't). Wish you lots of luck!!!

[TAVS]

That would be all well and good but once she signs a lease, she's locked into her decision. She'd never make any promises to me right now. Her coping mechanism while making this tough decision is to totally shut me out. It was just last friday she said we were still an option and now she wont even entertain the thought of me going with her. Maybe I'll make progress Saturday but I honestly doubt it. The worst thing is that she still has a bunch of her stuff at my house. I thought it hurt bad enough when she moved out the first half....this is really going to kill me. I just can't believe someone would throw away a great relationship with no real reason. Although I plan to pursue it again, I've lost all faith in the power of love. All those poeple got it right who replace "Till Death Do Us Part" with 'Till Life Separates us."

[shh!]

Ah, TAVS, this is such a sad time for you. I hope that you can take some small amount of comfort in at least having some resolution...