Relationship on the line

[Claire84]

I have a work party/meal this week and didn't invite my boyfriend and invited a friend instead, I told him and he was very upset as he said he would like to have come and met my colleagues. I thought I was protecting him as people have ignored us a couple in the past at previous workplace parties and social do's even though we make the effort talking to people.

I don't know if my friend has bought her train ticket and she booked off 2 days from work. Am I best to cancel her and say I am sick and reimburse her train fayre and invite my boyfriend instead? My boyfriend keeps saying he can't take her place but I know he will never drop it. I feel like I am going to ruin my relationship. I am so upset, please help.

[vashti]

Personally, I never liked taking ANYONE to work parties. They aren't really fun if you don't know anyone.

I don't think it is appropriate to un-invite your friend. Tell your boyfriend you are very sorry you hurt his feelings, and you will make it up to him. Then, be careful not to make this kind of mistake again (if indeed you think it was a mistake, which I am not so sure of since you weren't obligated to invite him in the first place).

BTW - how old are you both?

[Claire84]

We are both 25. I feel like I'm in such a mess.

[Cbrider]

It sounds like YOU don;t want him to come. Are you really going to let the opinion of people influence how you view your relationship with your boyfriend?

Thats a huge slap in the face to him.

[Gigabitch]

Go out after work some night with some work colleagues and invite the bf, making sure to be very "together" with him. Don't ditch your friend. She'll be there for you if he ever break up with you, so you need to keep that connection strong.

[damn2008]

It sounds like YOU don;t want him to come. Are you really going to let the opinion of people influence how you view your relationship with your boyfriend?

Thats a huge slap in the face to him.

I agree 100%... who cares what other people think of your relationship? If you love each other you should be PROUD to be with one another in front of ANYONE.

I do feel you're being disrespectful towards your boyfriend...your co-workers are almost like family at some point in your life (being as you see them 40 or so hours a week, give-or-take depending on your job AND you probably see them more than your family or boyfriend for that matter). How would you feel if he did the same to you?

Is there more you're not telling us? Why would your co-workers "avoid" you as a couple? Do you spill all your negative personal relationship business with him to all your co-workers?