Hey you guys, new member here, will get straight to the point.
These few months have been nothing short of amazing for me, at least so I thought, after dealing with the heartbreak of a love-one(in December 2009) calling quits on things I was out of it for around 6 months. But come November, it would all change, I met this girl who I really enjoyed being around at University. After a few weeks of beating around the bush she invited me on our first outing and as we sat watching a soccer match she told me that she was in love with me and if the feeling was mutual.
From then on it was like heaven, at first i doubted accepting her but as time went on we realized how closely tied we were, life was truly amazing, until the past two months.
I remember the Friday before V'tines day she came home early from school complaining of cramps, so after checking to make sure she was okay, I allowed her to rest and on Sunday(13th) I decided I would call to follow up and see how she was doing. Imagine my surprise to hear a male answer the phone! I asked to speak to her and funnily enough, while the male heard exactly what I was saying, when she came on the line she seemed to have trouble hearing me. So I hung up, under the impression she was stalling and playing the fool, but i decided to call back....four times I did and it seemed on the 3rd time someone canceled the call on her end.
Well V'day came and she spoke to me, and I immediately asked her what went on Sunday, her excuse was that she lent a friend her phone to use and i happened to call then. The reason why she couldn't hear me on the phone was because her phone was giving trouble since Friday(relatively new Blackberry)so I asked why she didn't call back when she saw me calling, she did and texted me she says, but my phones show no records of such.
Well I pressed on, until she finally got it that I was not buying her story and she immediately threw out the "You don't trust me...", well we raged back and forth for a few more minutes and then she canceled the conversation(we were on MSN). She refused to speak to me and later in the night, feeling maybe I said some harsh stuff, wrote a letter to her Facebook not apologizing for what i said but how I said it and made it clear we needed to talk urgently. She agreed and after feigning around two days later, we spoke and she told me what was up...
She was engaged to another man(who at the time was overseas working) before our relationship came about and when she turned 21(as she would do this year) she was to marry him.
I never felt so disgusted, angry, hurt etc. in my life.She gave me every impression we were in a relationship for the long term, she even told me how she was cheated on earlier in her life and how she was hurt so badly and the irony was that she turned around and did the same to me. I immediately told her we could no longer continue as partners until we sorted this thing out and she asked me if I would take her back if things didn't work out between her fiance and her. I said certainly....but sent her a note questioning whether it is in our best interests given the whole Lovers to Friends(if things did work out btween her and her fiance) as well as us getting back together.
Well I gave her her space to make her decision and she came to me and asked me a Friday how i was holding up since the drama between us...I chose the honest approach and told her i was still annoyed at her and if she made a final decision regarding the two of us...what shocked and surprised me was her response. She brought up a statement i made in the note which I apologized for making saying I said i didn't want to be her friend/bf if things didn't work out, and I told her I apologized for saying that, why are you bringing it up now? You said stuff that I could bring up but seeing you apologized I never brought them up(said to leave her alone and forget about her when we had the big argument on V'tines day-but later apologized for saying so)
Well in the end, she told me she decided that she couldn't choose between her fiance and I so she wouldn't choose either and wants to remain single given the grief and hurt she caused both of us(her fiance came in from overseas to sort it out after she told him about the situation-apparently he paid for the wedding and stuff as well) I told her I was still willing to give her a 2nd chance but she refused saying she didn't want to....she cited she changed her mind about her and I and she just wanted to be single...I felt used and resentful, even after she admitted to what was going on, I helped her in her work because she was behind given a lack of finances and as a result she couldn't access the courses we were doing. I brought her up to speed in time for our midterm, was there when she needed someone to talk to, never scorned her or made snide remarks and she came back to me and told me she changed her mind. Being from a Christian family, my first thought was to forgive and move on(which I am in the process of doing) So I am quite wondering if anyone went through something similar and if they have any advice for me, because the pain I am living with is intense, and I am questioning why me, why now, especially after I had to deal with disappointments just two semesters ago and now i finally got on my feet, I got kicked right back down to earth.
Any thoughts/comments/views?