Can men be trusted?

[hannahbell]

Hi,
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[Aeradalia]

We were blissfully happy for about 3 and a half years and then 6 months ago everything changed with a bang. He ended up betraying me and my faith in men is shot.

Cannot hold all men responsible for the actions of one... that's no different than for a man to say all women are manipulative and heartless because one woman broke his heart. It's unfair, unreasonable, and quite frankly, doesn't really make any sense.

I did alot for him,
financially supported him
I believed that he was "the one"
my efforts would eventually be repayed when I needed his support.

It's a common mistake to believe that self-sacrifice equals love... and another common mistake to believe that self-sacrifice will be rewarded. Love is not about sacrificing everything for someone... it involves a balance in which both can have their needs met and grow as a person.

didn't want the pressure of having to financially support him anymore,
he tried controlling me
emotionally blackmailing me..
he had emotional issues

He was having a bit of a free ride at your expense... you were doing most everything for him.. so he was trying to force things back to the way they were... What leech wouldn't try?

believed that this man was special.
thought he was loyal.
thought I could trust him

Sometimes we make mistakes... there are good men out there, but you have to learn how to sort the good from the bad.

unusual things sexually
he has some sort of an unhealthy sex problem.

Maybe you weren't that compatible after all?

I don't want to be messed up because of this.
I don't believe that all men are perverts or that they all cheat.

Don't allow yourself to ruin your chances at happiness later on because of being taken advantage by one man. You're right... all men are not perverts or cheaters... it will just take some time to learn how to recognize men with the qualities you want. So along the way, you may get your heart broken.

do men find it so hard to just be satisfied by one woman? Are they all doing things behind their partners back?

Relationships have to be constantly maintained and the love reaffirmed... so at times men (and women too) may feel a little dissatisfied with their partner... but as long as both are compatible and willing to put forth the effort, then the relationship can be brought back on track and remain healthy.

No, not all men are doing things behind their partner's back. You know better than to believe this. Quite a few guys are fairly honest... just as quite a few women are fairly honest.

[Gribble]

Sure men can be trusted. We can be trusted to do and say whatever it takes to get into your pants.

[Junket]

You were, or are clearly naive.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/26633-description-shining-knight-syndrome.html[/url]

You sound like you tried to mother this guy, as a result the relationship was doomed to failure.

Now he clearly wasn't a quality person, but I think you should also look within yourself to see where you went wrong as well. Some people make the mistake of blaming the death of a relationship on the other individual and ignoring their own mistakes and shortcomings. I can already see based off of what you've written, that if you continue to try to nurture men into being what you want, you'll always be disappointed, and always resent men for something only you are responsible for.

[Aeradalia]

Sure men can be trusted. We can be trusted to do and say whatever it takes to get into your pants.

Not necessarily a bad thing... makes them highly predictable

[Gigabitch]

Men can be trusted. It's your judgment you can't trust.

[Illusional]

maybe you just make bad choices with the men that you choose to be with.

raverboy