I broke up with my BF about a month ago. I took it really REALLY hard, and cried for about 3 weeks straight, isolated, didn't talk to ANYONE.
This past week, I told myself my time for sitting on the pity pot was over, and started getting out of the house again and forcing myself to do the "normal" things in life.
Even though I'm still really aching, I'm trying to act my way into a new way of thinking.
Oddly, two guys I dated last year have contacted me in the last week and asked me out. (I swear, they can smell it, because I hadn't heard from either of them for at least a month before that, and I didn't go out announcing my breakup.) I was up-front with both of them, told them that I'm not ready for anything serious, but sure, I'd go out if they still wanted to, as long as they didn't expect too much. I had one very pleasant lunch, and a couple of nice phone conversations, but I'm not getting emotionally involved right now. I'm really making the effort to enjoy myself, even though what I really WANT to do is sit at home and cry myself silly.
But I'm doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing to get past this.
Well, in the last 4 days, I've had at least 5 dreams about the X that I'm aching over. In these dreams, we're getting back together, and I wake up feeling SOOOOOOOO depressed.
I mean, I still don't want to do anything but sleep in my spare time, just as a release from this constant pain. But now, I'm getting afraid to sleep, because when I wake up, I feel even worse.
I've never had this happen before. Why is my sub-conscience sabotaging me this way?!?!?!
I KNOW it's over. He dumped me. He could NOT have made that more clear. There is NO hope for the future.
Why won't my mind let me let go?