The "caller" of the relationship

[fantasy123]

Its more of a metaphor, but does every relationship have a caller and a receiver dynamic?

One side thinks they talk too much one side thinks they don't talk enough, one side think they hang out too much one side think they don't hang out enough, one side is always the hero one side is always the villain.

these roles are obviously not always assigned to a specific gender, though its true depending on your sex, your more likely to take on certain role in the relationship.

___

as for me, I feel like I'm the receiver. Its not that I don't call my girlfriend, but I don't think I feel the same necessity, the fervor, she feels about it. Its not just because I'm a guy, it has to do with our upbringing. She calls her mom 5 times a week, I call my parents once every 5 weeks... she "expect" things of me, I have no standards for her. etc etc.

Discuss? does it exist? is there a perfect balance or is the best we can do is give and take?

[sparkle_jello]

I'm confused, but....

I think most relationships have a giver and a taker. I don't think it's a bad thing to be either though. I mean, in past relationships I was probably the 'giver', but now I am more of a 'taker'. I still give in my relationship, but my husband is someone that feels he has to take care of his family, not just financially, but in almost every aspect. I have to yell at him not to do the dishes after dinner because it's my job. He refused to let me mow the lawn, or weed wack because he didn't feel it was right to have me out there doing it, I finally got him to teach me how to weed wack, but I don't think I'll ever get to mow the lawn.

[xxazurexx]

I think in mine it's balanced.

He does most of the calling, etc, but I give in loads of other different ways.

If one starts to feel taken for granted, then your problems will begin.

[doppelgaenger]

In my last relationship I got really fed up because I never got a word in edgewise with that motormouth. And when I did, she didn't listen to me.
I'm seeing a girl now and we have great chemistry going on. It's almost as if there is something metaphysical happening, like we read each other's minds. Conversations are like playing catch.

It sounds like your partner wants you to talk more and you feel obligated to, but you're just a quiet person. A very trivial incompatibility.

[Raven_Skye]

Relationships are very rarely perfectly balanced. I have been in two major relationships, one lasting 7 years, the other 2, and in the first I was the giver, he never wanted to do anything, I clung more to him than he did to me, I think I loved him more than me. I am naturally more a giver though, so that could be why. With the second relationship, he adored me, put me on this pedestal, texted me all day, wanted to chat every night etc. The relationship was long distance too. But I recently ended this one because of the distance and that it didn;t seem fair. Point being, it's hardly ever going to be 50/50, thing is, you need to htink of if you can live with the way it is now.