Can somebody tell me what situation I'm in...

[ichigo77]

Some back story:
We've been friends for a number of years now and she use to date my close friend. They broke up a year and a half ago and it ended on bad terms. They don't speak to each other and avoid each other as much as they can. We kind of hang out in the same group of friends.
So back in September, we started to text each other on a regular basis but only around November that we actually started texting each other everyday. I started to develop feelings for her around this time, which isn't a good thing and we don't see each other that often - maybe twice a month? But we have gone out together when it was just us 2.

Shes always talking about going out for meals and meeting up (just the 2 of us) but she always got some excuse that its too cold, its raining or she has no money. So she bails out on the last minute.

So I'm thinking, yeah we are just chat buddies and we talk about anything, even personal things BUT we don't see each other.

Now:
So around Christmas time, our group of friends did a lot of things together so we got to see each other often, however she hardly said anything to me in these gatherings and only spoke to a male friend all night. ( Lets call him boy A) I thought maybe because I was near her ex, that she was scared to talk to me.

(Boy A and the girl have always been close and they are usually in their "own world" when we hang out in a group, so it's kinda hard to talk to her. I'm sure they weren't seeing each other because he got friendzoned, but maybe not anymore?)

The next morning, she texts me asking how was the night and if I drank a lot etc... She could've easily asked me on that night but she didn't say anything to me that night.

NYE comes and our friends are being indecisive on what to do, so at this point I decided I'll just stay in. The girl texts everyone (apart from the ex) to come to her place to celebrate but I tell her I'm gonna stay in. Then she calls me on my mobile which she rarely does and we talk for like 15 minutes and she persuades me to go over.
So we all go over to her place and she doesn't say anything to me again! She and boy A just keep to themselves for the whole night laughing and joking amongst themselves.

Again, the next morning she texts me how I feeling, if I got too drunk etc... she could've asked me this on the night! So at this point I'm confused...

Now, a week after this a few of us go out for lunch and I wasn't really bothered to go but she called me on my mobile to persuade me to go. I ended up going and boy A wasn't there so we spoke just a little.

A few weeks after this my friends birthday is coming up and I said I'm not gonna go out because I was short of cash, but really I knew the party would be her talking with Boy A and the rest of us drinking. I told her this and she said it's not going to be like this. She made me feel bad as she said my friends feeling really down about people not going out for her birthday and how she went out for my birthday etc so I changed my mind and went to the party. It was just like how I predicted! Boy A and the girl together and the rest of us drinking.

So now, we are not really texting each other that often (3 times a week) and sometimes she doesn't even reply to my messages even though she has read them (whatsapp).

Can someone help me on my situation? I want to get over her but it's difficult.

Sorry for the long story. I really needed to get this of my chest.

Thanks for reading!

[ashley89]

she seems to act kind of childish, I mean she talks to you all the time through text or phone call but then won't say anything in person? what's up with that? it sounds like she likes you as a friend but it's not cool how she invites you out, doesn't talk to you in person and then talks to this other guy the entire time. I would move on. spend your time and effort on a girl who is actually going to reciprocate it, and maybe next time if you don't go out or hang out with her she will realize she should have actually spoken to you when she had the chance. also those excuses for not wanting to hang out (the rain, the cold, no money) are the biggest BS excuses I've heard! (trust me I've used a few bad ones myself haha) I mean come on it's cold?! all you have to do is walk from the car to the inside of where ever you're going!

[smackie9]

You had an opportunity to make a move months ago (Sept!) and ask her out on a date...a date NOT "hanging out just the two of us". She flaked out on you because you flaked out on her. She tried to make you jealous and obviously you just sat their like a lump....she's given up on you.

[ichigo77]

Thanks for the replies.

I only started getting feelings for her around November. The hardest part is that we both know that we can't be together as she was in a 2 year relationship with a close friend of mine and they broke off on bad terms.

I just wanna know what her mindset was and why she did the things she did...

[smackie9]

No when it comes to matters of the heart, there are no codes or rules to follow. Lame excuse.

She was intereted, you didn't show interest, you restricted yourself because of your insecurity and she gave up.