I posted in the heartbreak forum, but now I need some other advice.
Ok... so my ex was a really independent girl and broke up with me 3 months ago. We're on good terms now after talking yet again, although we still act more like aquaintences than friends, which is kind of painful but we have no obligations to each other, so I can do w/e I want as well. Just a preview on our background, we are both 20 and enrolled in college.
Anyhow I'm kind of curious to get your perspective on things. I do agree with her that we were incompatible, but I was just curious as to how others would think.
Basically our situation was, after our "honey moon" stage of the relationship and once summer school hit for her, I saw her at most, twice a week and just talked to her on the phone/ talk to her on instant messaging. Of course she got stressed out over schoo and naturally I wanted to be there for her, so I kept telling her that if she wanted to talk that I would be there for her. Also since she got really busy, I cancelled future plans for her so that she would just focus on school. However, maybe this was counter intuitive, as I feel now that she's the type of girl who would rather look out for herself than have someone do it for her. Call me crazy, but I think I should've just kept firm to my plans for her and just waited till she gave me the word on whether or not she could spend time with me and while at the same time, just leave her alone to her own problems because anything I was doing wasn't really cheering her up and it might have been bothering her more than helping.
I feel the need to become less attached in relationships as well because I have so many ideals about making a girl happy that I'm afraid of smothering her and although I do perfer space, its just that when a girl is going through a rough time, I feel the need to give as much attention as I can that I sometimes neglect to take care of myself. So any tips on becoming more independent or dettached is much appreciated as well.