A Male Perspective Please?

[Kissen]

Hi, first off thanks anyone who takes the time to read this and answer.

For the last year I have been corresponding very lightly off and on with a man who is my age (we are both in our late thirties and we attended the same high school.) The correspondences have been short, usually him asking how I am, sending me mails. Lately they are funny and flirtatious but not sleazy - though playful and almost shy. Early on when I first begun corresponding with him, he mentioned that he always felt we had a mutual attraction, a quiet one. I was in love with him in high school but he never knew. He has asked me to call a few times in the last year, the first time he asked, he simply said, "call me". The second time, he asked. I never did, even at times said I would. Finally after nearly one year, I called, missed him, he returned the call and gave me his work number to call. When he and I spoke for the first time, he was happy, excited, and as a recovering Alcoholic very open with me about his life. He does not become sad but keeps an optimistic view, he seems nervous at times, but he is very honest about much of his past, and also we tend to laugh a lot, joke. After he told me some of his history, I divulged I was not ready, but then I did. I told him some very deeply personal stuff regarding my past and depression and suicide attempt but did not become over detailed, I felt it was too private, too much for our first conversation in over 20 years. Somewhere in there I mentioned to him that I was working on myself, not ready for relationships, and a bit afraid of them. I mentioned being with someone I broke it off twice with and that this person and I still speak, as I was realizing I did not want to be with anybody and he immediately piped up he was in the same boat very quickly. I figured he would run for the hills. drop me like a hot potato...After everything was said and done, he said he wanted to meet me in April. At that point it got worse, I said I was without a car, and at home with my family currently (because of recent events) - - I said to him so its really up to you if you would like to go out still at that time. He replied that he does, "Duh! Why else would I be aiming for this?" (he was playful)

My question or what I'd like a male perspective on is this: Is he pulling my leg, or are my gut feelings that he and I do have a rapport, share an understanding based on being recovering addicts, and that my past has no bearing on him true? And is he interested in me, does this go beyond him being interested in only a friend or is he trying to find out if there is something between us on his end?

I feel like I love him and I don't even know him, it bothers me.

[workingman78]

He is a grown man, until he proves otherwise, I think he is being upfront with you. I say go for it, just take it slow and stay in your comfort zone.

[Yet another guy]

is he interested in me, does this go beyond him being interested in only a friend or is he trying to find out if there is something between us on his end?

Those are questions that you should ask him, because he's the only one who knows the answers.

[bulrush]

Somewhere in there I mentioned to him that I was working on myself, not ready for relationships,
...as I was realizing I did not want to be with anybody and he immediately piped up he was in the same boat very quickly.

I said to him so its really up to you if you would like to go out still at that time.

You are sending mixed messages. Stop it. If you don't want a relationship, why did you invite him to make a decision to have one with you?

As for what he wants, I think he wants to find out if you two still have chemistry or not. So he wants to get to know you better, in a dating context.

[Kissen]

@ Bulrush, good point, I can see what you mean. I wouldn't have seen it that way, though I do now. I'm curious about him, he seems great - perhaps that is why I said that, not to mention my ego was tied up in his answer, sadly. Thank you so much for your input, that was a gem.