recent breakup

[daveu20]

Been in a relationship for 3 years. My girlfriend just recently found out my PW and logged into my myspace. She found a bunch of messages of me picking up on girls, flirting, giving out my number. We have been on/off quite a bit bc she always breaks up with over tiny little things - its her defense when she gets mad. Then a few days later comes crawling back, its pretty common so I know shes not serious when she does it. All these messages have been in between those breakups (which has been a lot). She is naturally an insecure person who says she can't stand cheaters. Although I have never cheated on her, she has accused me many times and ultimately it drove me to "test the waters" and pursue girls on myspace which i guess just helped me feel wanted during the lonely times she left me. I've confessed my love and told her she's the only girl for me so many times and meant it, but now she just thinks I'm a typical doucehbag liar and cheater. Although I have caught her doing the same thing on myspace/facebook/ and flirty texts on her phone awhile back. she straightened up, got rid of her pages, and opened up to me. Now I am wanting the same second chance but all she does is cry and refuses to answer my calls. To make it more difficult, shes 25 going to school living with her parents who control her every move and pay. Because of her constant crying they think I am no good for her and for the first time ever her mom called me crying telling me I have ruined their family and to leave her alone or shes gonna call the cops. Ive been indepent for 8 years and Ive even asked her to move-in but she cant afford her expenses and wont allow me to pay them for her . I'm heartbroken and I feel like the center of my world is gone. I've asked her to give me a chance and I will do anything it takes to gain her trust back but all she can do is cry and scream at me. She is the love of my life but now that her parents are involved I feel like I can no longer contact her. She's now doing new things like never before, telling me she doesnt care what happens with me, she hates and wish she never came this far with me and its hurts soo bad. I know i messed up and I'd do anything to take it back and show her how much I love her. Any advice on how i might get her back is much appreciated because without her I'm lost.

[steviej]

She's far too immature and emotionally unstable. Now this has happened she'll be even worse. You need to let her calm down, a few days NC then send a letter explaining pretty much what you've said here. Be open and honest. It's then up to her to decide.
With a girl like that though who is 25 yet behaving like a 14yr old i think you're better off without!

[DarkHelmet82]

you dont need someone who is this emotionally unstable and immature... find someone who acts their age.

[steviej]

She was Immature? Or him? I think you are giving him the advices of being more naughty, he was flirting n giving out numbers, test the water n stuff, did you see it? If he's that insecure he shouldn't be in 1 committed relationship.

Maybe you need to read the rest of his post, there's a lot more to the story than the end. Her behaviour leading up to what happened is destructive, and now he's done that she'll be even worse. She's to immature to handle a relationship.

[Kevin K]

i can relate to what you're feeling, totally devastated, feeling like everythings gone and your whole world fell apart etc. however, that should tell you something. no one should ever be the center of your world to begin with. period. otherwise, things like this happen. this relationship sounds toxic for both of you and dysfunctional. the constant going back and forth is not healthy. youre clearly not happy with the person she is and you cant peacefully coexist. its time to move on. i know its hard to let go but thats just your fear talking to you. your emotions are pulling you in tons of different directions right now and convincing you that yo need this girl to be happy, which is not true. you are perfectly fine without her. let it go and move on. find someone whos a better fit for you.

feel free to shoot me a private message if you need any more advice.