Help... Really confused NEED ADVICE

[Troppy]

Hello all

So I am back in contact with my first love. I have never loved anyone as much as him and we broke up six years ago. In the six years we were not together, his current gf was trying to sabotage the little normalcy we tried to have. So I isn't stopped talking to him.

I am currently with someone now who I love but it is clear that he loves me more than I love him. So now I have been in contact with my first love who is still with the same girl after these years. He decided to call me while chaperoning a school trip-- away from his gf.

In our short time of being in contact, he told me he doesn't love his gf as much as he loved me and that he's never stopped thinking about me. At first I told him its probably impossible to see each other and he agreed, but the next day he asked if we can get together.

So I will be seeing him this Friday. I am very nervous and don't know what will become of this especially since we both are in relationships. There are so many questions king through my mind and the feelings are overwhelming. Part of me would love to make it work but I don't know how realistic that could be...

I need some advice!!

[pisces25]

I don't see what is so confusing. You both clearly have feelings for each other. It doesn't take blind Freddie to work out what's going to happen...

[smackie9]

Make this right and end things with your BF first. It's obvious it's not working out and it is only fair to him. I think it would be a douche move to secretly meet up with your ex behind his back....how would you feel if you were madly in love with someone, who you thought you knew only to find out they were hookin up with an ex.....be careful, or karma will bite you in the ass. Also make it clear to your ex if you are to proceed with being together again, he has to end his relationship with her first.

[Troppy]

I understand. However, it's so difficult to make that choice. I know I cannot have my cake and eat it too, I just dont know if it would be the right decision. I keep thinking about who it will be affecting when I shouldn't. and I dont know how to bring up to him about what he would do. Would it be too much for me to give him some type of ultimatum so soon? Why is he contacting me after such a long time? So many questions.....

[smackie9]

Well you both made it clear that you are unsatisfied with the relationships you are in and have expressed still having feelings. I don't see how this is confusing. He obviously has an agenda.... to see each other again and work something out.

And yes an ultimatum is necessary. If you agree to date again, you need to express that you don't want this turn into an affair, because that will exclude the obligation to commit.

You have to remember too that people do change. He will not be that guy from 6 years ago.