Hi Everyone,
I need to say and ask a few things for some different perspectives and to clear my mind also. Sorry about the length.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. I'm 27 she is 26. We are each others first kiss and sex, and everything in between. Recently, she went on a holiday by herself to visit some family overseas. This was for 6 weeks. During that time, we did not talk on the phone a lot. Maybe 3 or 4 times during the 6 weeks mainly due to the cost. We did however text every day, and talk online a little.
She came back. I was thrilled as i missed her terribly, however, from the get go, i could tell something wasn't quite right. She seemed very aloof. I questioned her about this, numerous times, but she always said nothing was wrong. Then one day out of the blue, she stated that while overseas, a guy she met there tried to kiss her at one point. She said, that it was one sided and she didn't kiss back, and also broke the kiss. I was a little upset, but at this point it wasn't her fault. So i let it go.
I thought that this was the reason why she had been distant towards me. And i tried telling her that it wasn't her fault and i don't blame her. But she still seemed a little strange. After a couple of days of this, she admitted to me, that "i don't like the type of person i have become" (to quote her verbatim.) She stated that she was going to counseling to get help. I obviously questioned her and asked in what way. But again, she wasn't forthcoming. I should point out that she is a highly religious type catholic girl. And i put down what she said, to something to do with us having sex before marriage as weighing on her conscience and the trip bringing that out somehow.
Then out of the blue again, she told me she wants a break from me. I was shocked and wanted to know why, but she gave me basically the same reasons as above. I tried to fight for us, and i convinced her keep talking on the phone only. This then went on for a few weeks. In which technically we had broken up. After this week, she came to me again and hit my with another blow. She said that she had to tell me the truth about what happened and said this kiss wasn't one sided. She admitted that she did kiss him back. Also that it lasted 'a few minutes'. She added that she broke the kiss however, when he stroked her face. I was heartbroken. And walked out. We stopped talking completely for about 2 weeks. Then i messaged her saying i wanted to talk. We did. And i told her i wanted to know the whole truth.
She stated that, the guy who kissed her, she felt an attraction to. They spent a lot of time together over the 6 weeks. So obviously that attraction kept building. Until, a few nights before she was due to come back home, when the kiss happened. As i mentioned, she broke the kiss, and said it wasn't her who initiated it. I asked her if it was ALL that happened, and she said yes. No other touching in anyway. After this talk, i said i needed a few days to get my feelings together and would let her know. After a couple of days, i decided i didn't want to lose her, and told her that although she hurt me so deeply, i was willing, and was going to try to forgive her.
In the talks that followed, she said that after it happened, it made her realise that she loves me more than anything, and didn't want to lose me. I am a forgiving person. I do believe we all deserve a second chance. And i know people are imperfect and make stupid mistakes. I also know, from the type of person she is, she did take the repercussions hard on herself. Call me stupid also, but i do believe her when she says she would never do it again. I am not worried when she goes out with friends, I don't question where she is doing. I do trust her in that regard.
However, now i find myself unable to get the thought out of my head that it was more than a kiss. I asked her outright, and she said she did not sleep with him. And there is no reason, in her story for me to doubt that. But i still cannot get it out of my head.
I guess my question in regards that all this, is now that the trust is rebuilding, how does one believe her when she said that's all it was? Just keep pushing it out of my mind and move on? Has anyone else experienced something similar? And i suppose from a females point of view, would you think her coming forward and telling me, proves that's all it was?