How to deal with physically abused lady

[Velvet007]

Hi, I met such a lovely lady on a dating site,near me back in August 2016,
Our first meeting was such a simple affair,we grab a coffee,sat by a lake and just chatted for 4 hours , it was so lovely.
We saw each other every other weekend,chatted on the phone 4 or 5 nights a week for hours, I got to learn from her opening up that she was in a relationship for 18 years with a physically abusive man,who had sever insecurity problems and didn't trust her.
I have always treated her with respect, and have never pushed her on subjects she didn't want to continue talking about.
Everything was going really well,she asked me if I would go to her works Christmas dinner with her and spend time with her and her family over Christmas.
The weekends we never saw each other she would visit her 35 year old son,who lived alone and has suffered from depression,plus in November she had two court cases with her ex over the settlement agreement,she lost weight,became very anxious but I was always there for her to give her support.
Week running up to her works dinner,she asked me if I would mind her son going with her to the dinner with her as it might do him good,I didn't have to think twice and said it was a good ideal,well that night they had a big argument and things went downhill from there.
Christmas was cancelled ,we chatted less and she announced in early Jan that we should not contact each other for a while so she could heal herself and her son,which I agreed to.
For3 weeks I stopped contact, sent her a text,hoping she was well, she phoned me said we were done, she couldn't deal with my insecuritys .....I was flabbergasted , only thing I could possibly associate this accusation was I asked her once why she had not come off the dating site,which I had done.
Valentine's Day came and I cancelled the flowers I had pre ordered as I thought it not a good idea to put pressure on things,two days later she sent me a photo of her out with her son, she looked beautiful, she text New beginning ,new me with it.....I replied ,lovely to see you happy you look radient.
Well we text a few messages,then she announced don't get in touch with me again or I will block you.
So that night on Facebook I sent her one last message......thinking it would help the situation I stated that I admitted to having insecurity problems,which I don't and she would not hear from me for a month or so so I could sort my problems out and come back as the man she could respect and trust again.
I told her that I would send her Birthday wishes in early March,if it was ok to do so.....well she read that message within minutes of me sending it.........she never said No to me wishing her a happy birthday,didn't reply at all.
Now,she was terribly hurt,mentally and physically by her ex, I have never pushed our relationship,we hold hands and hug but never been further .
I know she is very guarded about letting her feelings show as she doesn't want to get hurt again....I love this woman with all my heart and would never hurt her but I'm hurting so much myself right now.
I will not contact her apart from sending a Birthday bouquet ,wishing her a lovely day......I know she really cares for me but I'm at a lose as to what to do to get our relationship back on track before all this came up.

[Hooo!]

How to deal with physically abused lady

simple answer is: just dont
There is people who healed and dealt with their issues
and others who didnt. If you have such a nutcase do yourself a favour and stay away from them.
You are her boyfriend not her therapist. If you want to be a therapist do it with someone you are not romantically involved with.

Im not saying its their fault. Im not saying it cant be done.
Im just saying that i personally would not go through all of that with someone i possibly want to start a relationship with.

[Velvet007]

Thank you for your reply, yes I agree to some extent,I'm not her therapist,she is also helping herself to heal her problems from this past relationship of abusive.
I'm a very patient man with a big heart and if truth be known, I've fallen for her,up until her sons threat to her that he wanted to end his life,our relationship was good.
I've a feeling it's just all got too much for her, settlement court cases,sons chronic depression, high pressure job, she knows I care for her immensely ,just the way I support her ....the fact that the one person that's there always for her,she pushes away.....do you think she frightened of committing herself to another man because of her past abusive relationship,easier to not have a man in her life as far as she's concerned