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Thread: Conflicted Outlook on Relationship

  1. #1
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    Conflicted Outlook on Relationship

    Hello, and first of all, I would like to thank anyone who reads this and takes the time to help. I truly appreciate it!

    I'm in a bit of a bind with this situation I'm in with a guy. I've been friends with him for over a few years now, and he's super awesome and kind. He's a fantastic person, and I love being around him. Now, the thing is, we aren't in a relationship. I've been catching onto some major hints that he has a thing for me, and I'm very conflicted. Like, it is a definite thing that he has feelings for me, and honestly, I go back and forth about how I feel.

    I want the relationship, if that makes sense, but at times, I can't help but feel nothing for him? I am totally okay with the idea of kissing, hugging, etc. him, but there are definite things that turn me off. He's younger than me, a bit more than a year to be exact. The age gap is major during this point in my life, so there is a certain immaturity to him. He's also quite awkward in social situations. I could go on about how many things I'm not a fan of, but in the end, there's a part of me that doesn't want to give up on this possibility of a romance.

    As I mentioned earlier, I would be totally okay with doing couple things, but I'm just very conflicted on whether or not my feelings are true or just being forced. What should I do? Some days I'm all for it, and other days I'm just like "you know, he's not my type AT ALL". I still want the relationship, but there's still a part of me not only holding me back, but also pushing me to continue this romance.

    Help?
    Lookerski

  2. #2
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    I remember feeling this way about my first bf before we got together and honestly it was awful being with him. It turned out I had no romantic or sexual feelings for him.. i just got confused coz we were close friends and got on well. Then i felt bad for leading him on and didn't really know how to end it so just did nothing and hoped he would dump me.. he didn't and we were the worst couple ever lol.. it finally ended badly and we never spoke again..

    The only good thing that came out of it was that I learned what I want/don't want and did learn from the mistakes we both made..

    It sounds like your not really into him but your young and curios and want to date somebody so he will do coz there are no better options around right now.. if this is the case then I recommend you forget about him and wait until you meet someone that you genuinly do want to be with..
    Last edited by michelle23; 03-03-15 at 06:33 PM.
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
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    Hello Lookerski ,

    You’ve fallen for your guy friend and you want to know how to proceed. You know he’s crazy about you – at least as a friend – and you’re aching to find out if there’s potential for romance. Here are three ways to find out if the feelings are mutual without risking your pride or your friendship.

    1.Help him see you as a woman
    At the moment you’re his gal pal, and that’s not who you want to be. You want to be seductive, alluring, and incredibly sexy. In short, you want him to want you. Since the two of you did not have instant chemistry, you will need to put effort into developing and nurturing this attraction. This will be a process, and it will require patience.

    2.Flirt with him
    flirting is the best way to gauge his interest. To see if he’s open to the possibility of romance, find ways to touch him in conversation. The trick is to make the physical interactions quick and casual.

    3.Don’t do anything that could turn him off
    Chances are, if you’ve been close friends for a while, he’s seen you in your grungy tee-shirts, smelled your breath after eating garlic pizza, and heard you whine about your exes. All that stops now. As a rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t do it on a hot first date, don’t do it around your guy. If you’re serious about catching his interest, you have to start treating him like a man, and not like a buddy.

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenniferaniston View Post
    Hello Lookerski ,

    You’ve fallen for your guy friend and you want to know how to proceed. You know he’s crazy about you – at least as a friend – and you’re aching to find out if there’s potential for romance. Here are three ways to find out if the feelings are mutual without risking your pride or your friendship.

    1.Help him see you as a woman
    At the moment you’re his gal pal, and that’s not who you want to be. You want to be seductive, alluring, and incredibly sexy. In short, you want him to want you. Since the two of you did not have instant chemistry, you will need to put effort into developing and nurturing this attraction. This will be a process, and it will require patience.

    2.Flirt with him
    flirting is the best way to gauge his interest. To see if he’s open to the possibility of romance, find ways to touch him in conversation. The trick is to make the physical interactions quick and casual.

    3.Don’t do anything that could turn him off
    Chances are, if you’ve been close friends for a while, he’s seen you in your grungy tee-shirts, smelled your breath after eating garlic pizza, and heard you whine about your exes. All that stops now. As a rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t do it on a hot first date, don’t do it around your guy. If you’re serious about catching his interest, you have to start treating him like a man, and not like a buddy.
    ... WTF? ...

    Are you a wanna be writer for The Huffington Post?

    Do you even READ the Opening Post before you comment your canned jargon?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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