Need help with a mess I created

[messedupbigtime]

i am in a total mess and need help desperatly. about 2 1/2 years ago, i helped a friend bust her husband cheating online. i made a fake myspace and we caught him. well in the time of having the fake page, it had to look legit, so i would add people and when people would send me friends request i would add them. and i talked to quite a few of them online only.. the page looked real enough to do the job that needed to be done. well in the midst of all of this, i got a friends request from this guy and i added him. we sent messages and comments back and forth for a couple of weeks.. no harm no foul. it was all ok. then it progressed to talking online via a messanger.. all day long. and then eventually it was the phone with talking and texting. befire i knew it i had fallen for him.. and bad. i am totally and completely in love with him. and i never told him for the longest time because he was married. he always wanted me to come and see him and i was always able to come up with some excuse not to.. sometimes i had to make something up, but it always worked. until recently.. a couple of months ago his wife told him she wanted a divorce.. she hasnt been happy the last 9 years of their marriage and she has kinda been seeing someone else. so with all of that he has told me how he has felt about me.. that he has fallen in love with me and he loves me and wants to be with me.. i am now at a point that i cannot make up anymore excuses not to see him.. i either go to where he is or he is gonna come here.. (he lives 1200 miles away). i know it was wrong of me to do this and to let it get as far as it has gotten.. and honestly there were probably a couple of times i could have told him the truth and i didnt because i knew i would lose him. and i know that i am going to lose him.. and i have no one to blame but myself.. it is going to kill me to do it, but i know that i have to. he tells me all the time he loves the person that i am.. and things. but the truth is he wouldnt love me on the outside... not that i am dog meat to look at or anything.. but im a bigger girl, and he just isnt into that.. so i have set myself up for a pretty big hurt.. and its all my fault and i know it. i have told so many stories and lies to get me out of things, that i dont know anymore. i just need help with figuring out how to end it.. and it has to happen soon... i cant put him off any longer.. i know i have done wrong, and probably deserve what is going to be coming.. but i just dont know how to tell him the truth or how to end it..

[vashti]

Send him a real photo of yourself and tell him to contact you if he is really interested. I have to hope that your fake persona didn't play a role in the dissolution of his marriage.

[lovedoctor007]

this is a real mess, here is what i advice you:
I don't know how you look but i can tell you that us men value aspect a lot more than you.
I honesty doubt it that he is such a great man since he is getting divorced, but then again it might have been mostly her fault.

Try to figure it out if he loves you because of your personality or pretends to love your personality to just sleep with you, i can't be sure.

There are basically 2 choices, tell him you were a lot younger in those pics and show a pic ofyourself now to see him how he would respond.

Or the other choice is to simply tell him you found another guy and you must end it now to do not make him suffer

[messedupbigtime]

no it didnt.. they had some issues before i ever came into the picture.. and he has told me about all of it.. in all reality, his marriage would have came to an end.. and he knew that. he wanted to stay with her for his children. but she has been unhappy for 9 years.. and she started seeing someone else..

[messedupbigtime]

i know it needs to end now.. its needed to happen for awhile.. and i just couldnt figure out how.. i have wrote letters and was going to mail them to him and just disappear.. i was going to email and do the same.. i was just gonna disappear.. i mean i just dont know which way i should go about it. and i know i deserve the consequences for what will happen.. it was totally wrong of me to let it all go this far.. and even to do it in the first place.

[I-zac]

I hate people who drown without even trying to save themselves.
Sure you created a mess, sure you lied.. SURE. But.. you seem to love the guy, be honest. Honesty always comes in handy. Tell him the truth. Tell him everything. Show him your picture. If he still wants to see you, then give it a shot.
If you walk out now, you will keep wondering for the rest of your life about what would have happened if you had stayed.