lack of attraction or is it age?

[turtledove]

I have been with my man almost 2 years. He would meet me at the door or car when I arrived home from work. He would cuddle with me at bedtime, even til I fell asleep if he wasn't sleepy.

He would always make a point of wanting me to go to the store or his friends or wherever.. he always bragged that I was his woman.

up until about 6 months ago we had sex almost every night.. .about 6 months ago its like his total demeanor changed. ? ?

He still tells me he loves me everyone morning -every night. but no sex, no affection, if I touch him he "grunts" . He doesn't want his friends around me now (hmmmm).

One night he yelled at me when I caressed him and was trying to get fresh... Y do you always want it. ... I am thinking.. um its been 6 months... 1 month is long enough for me,. I am no Pam Anderson.. but there are no flies on me.
I get more attention from men pumping gas or at the grocery store.. ?? I don't have an insecurity problem.,,. I am just thinking... its not even old yet...

He is 51 and I am 47 and we are active and athletic - he looks about 35. he works out. he benches about 350.. just giving all the info.. we are OLD but we don't look OLD... so to speak..

Soooooo I have cut off the affection since he seemed irrirated.,and I would let him come my way..NOPE ! NOTHING !
first thought was.......... another woman

I need advice on how to handle myself towards him from here on out.. HELP! I love him but I want to be held, kissed, and touched.
I would appreciate your thoughts.
Turtledove

[smackie9]

Talk to him my dear. We don't know what is going through his head or why he is not happy in his present situation. You will have to ask him for yourself. Maybe he wants out, maybe he is flirting with someone one line. If you are checking his search history and see nothing, he is using private browser. Private browser is in the tool option and it blocks all search history, conversations, passwords and downloads from being on your computer.


You are have a right to be upset. When behavior changes that means something is up....time to corner him and get the honest truth.

There have been women on here swearing up and down that there is no way their is another women, only to find out later they were wrong.......

Swallow your fear and just ask him....

[turtledove]

Thank you ! I did ask him - this is the way it played:
Baby - Are you not happy in the relationship? He looked at me - no response.

I said - Do you not desire me anymore? He said.. of course I do Sugarbear, I love you !

I gave a short re-cap (short mind you.. I wanted to keep the communication going-) of the no touching, no sleeping with me now and he said.. O.M.F.G. give me a break !!!! Here we go again. ... (here is the attitude he gets as if I don't have a right to ask him -[ which is to me a cop out instead of being a man and being honest with me)

He got up and went outside. - I left it and him alone,.

He had some friends over later that night..WOW and he doted over me and honey this and sugar that... but I it totally appeared as an act. These are 2 of his friends that have known both of us the same period of time.

I will say that some men are weird - PERIOD ! .. like some women. He could be punishing me in some way for something ? ? that is only relevant in his mnind.. but even if thats the case.. I must ask myself do I want to be in a relationship where someone does that sort of thing and there is no communicaiton ?

Someone told me that men over 50 - sometimes get a low T 1 count and that could be his problem. and maybe he doesn't know what the problem is... .but.. here again if he cares ENOUGH about our relationship.. the ball is still in his court. I believe to do something about it or take the next step.. any step I make seems to make matters worse.

Unfortunately, I fell in love. So now to teach myself to fall out - I guess. I have a lot preparing to do.... heart, mind and all of my stuff. I have done all I can.

Thanks for answering, Thanks for listening !!

Turtledove

[HeartIsAching]

I'd bet big money he's having problems with Erectile Dysfunction, and is embarrassed about it.

[HeartIsAching]

Oh, and if he can't talk about it, and won't DO anything about it, it's time for you to start packing your bags.

[smackie9]

Ya time to lay it on the line......if he inst willing to work with you on whatever issue he maybe having...time to leave.......see what he does then.

[turtledove]

Thanks Heart is Aching.. I really thought thats what it was.. He looks at me after I get out of the shower... like he is attracted to me... and then he looks down and walks away...

[turtledove]

Heart is Aching ..
BUT..............................if he is having problems .its sad he is willing to let it all go.. but .. I can only be in control of me..

I do realize its hard for a man his age to tell someone they have been with even for 20 yrs... I asked him if he was having T1 .. problems.. hey.. I don't have a problem with direct questions.. He asked me what that was .. I told him.. and he got mad and said there is nothing wrong with his sex drive..

That's why I figure he is pursuing someone else..... or he was embarassed to talk about it .l like you said.

But here 'was" the thing.. in working so hard to make us work.. I was losing myself.. if you understand my meaning..

I need to cowgirl up and make preps for end .. just in case.. 6 months is a long time to go thru with this.

Thanks
Turtledove..