Guy is hot and cold....

[confusedgirlxx9]

Any advice you can give would be much appreciated! I am so confused!

Went out with this amazing bloke for drinks at a bar (non alcoholic), we got on great. Conversation was amazing, he was quite forward aswell and we kissed a lot. I gave him a lift home and we were back in my car and it got a bit heated... again not beyond a kiss though really!

I thought he was amazing.

We went to a pub for a coffee the other day and it wasn't so great... his gentlemanly manner slipped somewhat and he said several things which had me looking at him thinking "are you serious?" so we clashed a bit. But then other aspects of the convo were great. To the point where he was being very full on, asking if my family would approve of him, showing me pictures of his friends etc and talking about them to me. The date ended with him walking me to my car, kissing me rather passionately and saying he'd text me after work.

I text him saying that I didnt think that we really clicked, but that might have been due to us being rushed as he had to be at work soon. He replied that he wasn't sure if we really had much in common... I said I wasn't sure either but was up for meeting up again and giving it another shot if he was to which he said that he thinks we both know which way the wind was blowing. I said yeah we do.

Havent spoken since that but the following day he "liked" one of my Facebook posts - which striked me as odd when for the month I've had him on Facebook he has never liked anything before... Seems odd to do it the following day - kinda like don't forget about me. I know that other blokes I know tend to do it when I haven't spoken for them for a while.

Bearing in mind that we had spoken almost everyday by text for the month since we met...

I'm just really confused! Is he genuinely not interested? Or is did he just agree with me because I'd said I didn't think we clicked? I don't think I'd admit that I liked someone if they said that either.

Please help! :-)

[confusedgirlxx9]

Oh I'll just add that I'm asking as I do genuinely like the bloke and think I was a bit hasty with judging him so quickly... At the moment I'm just planning on not contacting him at all via text, fb etc and then I've got a friends birthday weekend after this so I'm bound to see him at the bar he works at as we usually go there... Figured I'd say hi then and see how it goes... Just not sure if there is any point in keeping my hopes up?

I get the impression that he doesn't really date - just hooks up with girls.

[Wakeup]

If you are so intrigued with him, why did you tell him you didn't think you clicked? What game are you playing? Did you actually want him to fight for you after you told him that you didn't click with him?

He's doing what most players do... he's leaving the choice up to you so when he beds you without commitment, it will be you that did the pursuing and it will be your choice.

He's already got into your head... Your body just needs to follow as you strive to get his attention.

[confusedgirlxx9]

I really don't know what came over me. I wish I hadn't said anything at all as it had ended on good terms. I'm quite an honest person and I told him from the start that it would only work if we were both honest with each other so I guess thats why I told him exactly what I was thinking - in hindsight I shouldn't have said anything. Pretty sure I have messed it up now!

Thank you for your reply.

[Wakeup]

Did you tell him you didn't think you "clicked" because you were thinking that HE thought you didn't click?

[confusedgirlxx9]

No I didn't really think that he thought that... I guess I was kinda irritated that the date hadn't gone as well as I had hoped for, and didn't want him to think that I thought that his behaviour was okay...

I text him today asking for advice as I have a job interview on Monday and its for a role that is extremely similar to one he used to do. He gave me some tips for that but thats all we spoke about, I said thank you and he never replied.

I'm just not sure what is going through his head! My friends think he is really into me and is upset and sulking about it now, but I'm not sure if he just genuinely isn't interested.

[Wakeup]

Let him pursue. If he does then you know that he is interested. If he does not then you know that he is not interested.

Have you ever read the book "He's Just Not That Into You?" If you haven't then DO. It's written rather in a fluffy format but it clearly illustrates what it looks like when a guy (who is not just a player hoping to score) is interested. It goes into even more detail to illustrate how one who is not interested will play it.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of fish in the sea so don't lose your shit over one that you've not even had enough time with to worry about it.

[confusedgirlxx9]

At the moment I'm planing on leaving the ball in his court. He knows my interview is Monday so if I don't hear from him - either a good luck or a how did it go - then I think thats a pretty clear sign...

I've recently got back into dating after a three year long relationship and its definitely made me aware that there are more fish in the sea!

Do any guys have any opinions for me? It would be great to get a mans perspective too :-)

[bulrush]

I text him saying that I didn't think that we really clicked, but that might have been due to us being rushed as he had to be at work soon. He replied that he wasn't sure if we really had much in common... I said I wasn't sure either but was up for meeting up again and giving it another shot

Guys know that most girls often sound more positive than they actually feel, so guys have a translation filter that takes down optimism by 2 notches. You said "I didn't think we really clicked" which, when translated really means "I don't want to see you again".

IMO he's not that into you, except if you show serious, sustained interest on your own. If you make an effort he might come around, but since guys do 99% of the work in dating, he's not going to waste his time with someone who isn't interested.

I.e. If you're not going to put work into the date, why should he?