I'm 17... I have met a girl in a summer camp, we both liked eachother very much... Kind off, falled in love with her and she was just perfect, with all her little flaws... It was the first girl i liked for her personality. And the feeling was strong back, because she liked me too... Dammit, it hurts me even to write this.
We were both loving eachoter... But the distance ruined all despite our efforts to keep in touch. We both felt alone and sad after a while and she moved on right now, after 2 months we didn't saw eachoter. Changed her status on facebook, to in a relationship, probably just to make me stop talking to her...
You know, I wanted to be just friends and, to tell you the truth, I wanted to wait a year or 2 when I was planning to move at collage in her city... For now I didnt wanted to push something, just a casual weekly talking frienship, but when feelings get involved, sh*t happens. I felt the urge to get in a consolation relationship too, but rejected that ideea... I still love her and I will not enter in a relationship like this. Is not fair.
Is the first time i loved soneone and that person felt the same... But, damn the distance... It ruined it all... DAMN IT!!!! It could've been perfect but now she will be with someone else, and I will be alone, hearthbroken, because I refuse to hate her, or use other people to get over her.
My self esteem was damaged a lot, even if after I left her for the last timed I doubled my gym program and now I'm looking ripped like a magazine cover (not joking, but also started to have some circulatory problems combined to my messy diet, because I eat like a pig and run&work for hours to burn all that food). And all the girls in my class flirt with me. And I did great things and I am working hard to do more... But I feel always under her boy friends in her city (one is her new boyfriend I guess)... I always feel helpless and weak no matter what I do.
What to do now? How can I heal from this, because they have been 3 months of pain and no matter how hard I struggled to raise myself up I still love her and I feel like is no ones fault for this relationship failure. I shoud stop contacting her (wich I did weekly until I saw that status today)... But is so damn hard for me to let go and I actally I see no point in it. I think that after I move to collage I could start to talk with her again and fix things up if I have the possibility. BUT IT HURTS ME SOO MUCH... I want it to stop! I cant take this emotional pain anymore.
Give me a god advice... Im sick of "time heals" and "you will find someone better"... Why I shoud find someone better? I dont want a new relationship, I just want to stop hurting to be able to stay chill tll I can go to collage. I have to learn too, I dont have time for a relationship with someone I dont like that much. And for me all girls are like that beggining with this summer.