dumped for no reason

[satinsad]

Hi all,

I've been dumped by this guy after few month of a relationship. Things were going well, we had a lot of fun, very similar points of view on many things and seemed to be both looking for a serious relationship. Things were getting very quick, he wanted me to meet his family and postponed his vacation hoping we could go somewhere together (all of this only 1 week before the breakup).

And then, after a first real fight, things got kind of complicated, but I was willing to talk them through and fix it. But he told me he needed to think... and then disapeared for a week. So I called him and he annonced to me that he was about to write me an email, so we could meet and speak. At the end, in the same phone conversation, he told me that I'm incredible, such a good person, that he is going to miss me, and he'll probably regret his decision, but he thinks it's gona be complicated. I couldn't get the real reason out of him. He just wanted to keep in touch, call me everyday (as if nothing happened between us) and when I refused, he asked my permission to write me emails when he felt like it, even if I don't respond. I told him not to write me no emails, as I'm afraid to be even more hurt. So the conversation ended up on his "It will sound stupid, but I'll miss you"

I'm quite sad about it, I think this relationship had a potential, and the problems we had could be solved if we wanted to. My question to you guys is : should I really let him go, or try to keep in touch to see if we could get over it? I know it's my decision, just want to know other opinions. Thanks for all responds

[confused01]

i'm sorry to hear that
ok my first question is: how old are you both?
second try to remember when you were together if you noticed something strange but didn't care about it?

[vashti]

I wouldn't bother trying to force a fit when one of the participants are not interested, which appears to be the case.

I think it was good you told him not to contact you.

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, just walk away, Renee. This stuff will never go away, you'll never forget that he disappeared for a week. This one's over.

[satinsad]

Hi again,

I'm 26 and he is 38. Yeah, the difference is big, but still have the feeling we might be missing something. I'm almost cracking up... really want to contact him again.

[satinsad]

about the second confused001 question : well, we had some differences, but they seem minor to me, nothing we couldn't solve if wanted to

[confused01]

OK I see, sometimes the small or miner thing for you ight be very iportant for him, and usually those miner thing are the one causing problems in the future, and since he is 38i assume he has more experience in life and in relatshionships than you do, so he knows that it won't work so he stopped it before it's too late for both of you
that's what i think.

[satinsad]

well, I don't think he really thought it through, because, as I said, just 2 weeks before he wanted me to meet his family and the little things were already on the table. He also told me if I would have met his family, things might be different... He also told me he is probably going to regret his decision,

The fact that he wasn't able to give me his reasons tells me he is very confused, more than he wants me to see. I know many relationships when one of the persons totally freaks out when things get serious, break up and then come back together and live hapilly ever after... I'm just not sure if it's the same here...

I just know that I'm not the one left with regrets, but I'm pretty sure he will have some for a while (I hope, this makes me feel better )

[vashti]

I think you should stop trying to second guess him and make excuses for why he did this (ie "he is very confused", etc.) . He is a grown man, and I doubt he is as confused as you imagine.

Sorry, sweety. Sometimes a person just needs to hear the cold hard truth.