Leave or Stay

[Ace12]

Hello

My life right now is filled with emotional turmoil. I have been in a relationship with a woman for almost 2.5 years. Our relationship started off like any other. She was friendly at first very understanding and I was able to communicate with her. Things were going well the first year. We talked about marriage what her goals were. What my goals were and how we can work towards them. She said that she has been in some very bad relationships before and wanted to take things slow. I am a very understanding person so I did not rush or pressure her in any way. I forgot to mention she has young son. I stated to her in the beginning of the relationship that I did not expect her to choose me over her son. I was very respectful of her and her son. I included the son in everything that we did. She seemed to be happy with that. The son and I have formed a very good relationship.

As the first year led into the second year. I purposed to her. I asked her to marry me and she accepted the ring. I took it as a good sign and I worked hard to keep the relationship going. I have my own house. I would do work around her house; babysit her son while she went to school. When she was having bad days I would try and lift up her spirits but I noticed when I asked her about marriage she became very evasive. She would come up with excuses. “We need to get to know each other better”.” I am afraid when we get married you will change.” “You are not doing enough to help me”. I told her what we needed to do was take some marriage classes first may be that will help. I also told her I am not forcing you to do anything that she did not want to do. She had a list of things that she wanted me to do and that was sell my house. I asked her if she would sell her to so that we can buy one together.

In the beginning of this year, things took a turn for the worst. She started using the son as a tool against me. She started to isolate me form her friends. I am now under the impression that I am being used by her. I also believe that her friends are advising her.
In the beginning she told me about the men that she has been with. She said that they treated her with no respect. Her son’s father left her when he found out that she was pregnant. She was left to raise the child by herself. She married a man to legally stay in this county. He abused her. She met someone else who she had a relationship with for 6 years. She has never told me the truth about why they broke up.
Her son has mentioned to be about other men, I assume she was having several affairs. She has a very low self esteem about herself. I am afraid she uses me know as a person to make herself feel good.
I feel left out, isolated.
What have I done wrong, I thought by showing someone respect and not treating them as trash they would see it in themselves to give respect back. I feel now that she has no respect for me. It seems that she has taking my kindness as a weakness. I just wanted to lead by example. It has been an emotional rollercoaster is it time to get off this ride.

[Boisdevie]

She is a control freak and I would run away very very fast.

[ConniptionFit]

Yet another example of two things you will see over an over again:

1. A "nice guy" acting like a doormat.

2. What happens when a women with a history of relationships with guys who don't treat her well gets together with a guy who does treat her well.

[thundersw]

I would leave very soon.
She seems very troubled and will drag you down with her.
I've been realizing this also. If you treat women very good they will treat you very bad.
Don't be stupid, you don't have to live with this drama. Dump her already, you've the right to be happy just like anyone else.

[Wakeup]

I've been realizing this also. If you treat women very good they will treat you very bad.

Please don't hate women in general. The person who you are with treats you badly when you treat her good. That doesn't mean all women do that. Get the nads to leave someone who doesn't value you or appreciate the nice things you do for her. You are staying with someone who doesn not appreciate. Fix that by leaving her ungrateful ass.

Ace: the above goes for you too. Whats wrong with you that you'd stay for abuse and being taken for granted. The minute you see that your efforts are not being reciprocated or are being taken for granted that is your first red flag and your clue that you are in a relationship that is one sided. Get out or have the balls to talk about it and if things don't change then get out as soon as you realize they are'nt ever going to change.

Stop being afraid to tell women "no" when you know saying "yes" isn't in your own best interests or the best interests of the relationship in general. Also learn to stop being a victim. She didn't tie you up and force you to take her shit.

What have I done wrong, I thought by showing someone respect and not treating them as trash they would see it in themselves to give respect back. I feel now that she has no respect for me. It seems that she has taking my kindness as a weakness. I just wanted to lead by example. It has been an emotional rollercoaster is it time to get off this ride.

By staying with a broken beotch, you enabled her to be that broken beotch. She's been raised to have entitlement issues. You'll never fix her so just leave her to herself and her issues.