Why do some guys seem to love you more after they say they want to be "just friends"

[starburst]

Okkk im back =) Sooo heres the thing..as you all may know ive been in a relationship with a guy for over 6 months. After he moved away we kept it a long distant relationship in which later on he decided that he didnt know what he wanted (thats why i was gone for so long..**cries**). So my bf decided to break up with me and after 6 days he was back and we were talking again. He was stressed out about the whole distant situation and so he decided we should just be friends. I obviously did not like that so we decided that we wouldnt talk until after 3 months when i could see him again and he could figure out what he wanted. While he left again i thought about the whole "friends" idea thing and realized that i would rather have him in my life as "just a friend" than not have him in it at all, it was a sacrifice i was willing to make (even though it would be hard). When we talked again i told him this and he was fine with it until it slowly dawned on him and by night he went on and on about how we couldnt do this and got really emotional, he told me i was just his and no one elses and that he needed me. When i told him that atleast we would be in eachothers lives he said it was unfair even though the whole friends idea was his idea!!!! Now he tells me he loves me every second and though i love it im really confused. He called me his love today and has been complimenting me every second but at the same time im really confused because he's been telling me that i will be the one to find his future gf. I know he's kidding but it makes me nervous (well i hope he's kidding). I dont understand why hes telling me he loves me now more..than when i actually needed him to say it. When he suggested the friends idea he was fine with it but when i agreed he had a panick attack. Im happy were talking and togather but im so confused

any advice or help will be greatly appreciated

[IndiReloaded]

im really confused because he's been telling me that i will be the one to find his future gf. I know he's kidding but it makes me nervous (well i hope he's kidding).

any advice or help will be greatly appreciated

You've been through a breakup. Ask him what the hell he wants long term. He sounds like an indecisive idiot to me tho.

You already know this, but I'll post it again: A man who really loves you will show it in his actions. He will hustle for you, make time for you, want to be with you.

If I were you, I'd just agree to be his friend and tell him you are going to be dating other men. If he's got any brains, he'll know this is his 'shit or get off the pot' moment. If you have any, you'll actually follow through if he still acts indecisive. Life is too short to waste your time with a partner who doesn't really want you. And when you really want someone, you know.

Good luck.

[THX]

I was thinking the exact same thing Indreloaded wrote. I can identify because I am just like your boyfriend. He loves you but he's never going to do anything about it. When he thinks he's going to lose you he will freak out and try to get you back. When your comfortably his he will wonder if this whole relationship thing is for him. Pull up Katy Perries video "hot n cold" with lyrics. It explains our kind very well. Take note then RUN.

[JaimeRose5]

Just go with the flow and follow your heart. That is all you can do and remember you can't control everything, so only worry about the things you can control.

Jaime

[starburst]

I AM soooo ANNOYED!!!! Okk jUST OUT of the blueeee he tells me that we should stop talking and that this whole friends thing isnt working for him EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN TELLING ME HE LOVES ME FOR THE PAST 6 FREAKING DAYS!!!! im soooo hurt i dont know what to do. He doesnt want to talk to me until the summer and then he said we could be "just friends" after the summer. i dont know what his deal is..why does he put me thru this sh*t...and i dont want to give him up :'( i canttt i love him way to much that even thinking about him NOT being a part of my life puts me in hysterics :'(

he was perfectly fine...and then just tells me that we wont be talking :'(


p.s thanks for the advice everyone

Jaime my heart cant or wont let him go

[starburst]

yep thats him !!