my heart is broken

[Bree96]

I met this guy online 8 months ago.we started out slow just breakfast and emails, seems he couldn't get enough of me. I felt very comfotable with him we had the same type upbringing were the same age. The first thing I noticed was he was always late, so I got used to it, then he started calling about the time he was to come, and making some excuse why he couldn't . he said I need to beg off, I fianally said you don't need to beg just let me know as soon as you know.
The first kisses were great so we moved along after that. then comes christmas and he said I wasn't in his plans with his children. I was hurt but, ok I saw him the sunday after. we attended several nice small parties. then he came for a whole weekend. it was wonderful.he seemed so comfortable we shopped and did lots of just ordinary things and laughed so much he made several promises about helping me with my house, I thought it was sweet but not really necessary..Then 2 days before valentiines day I got an emial he just couldn't do the "forever" thing and he was sure that was what I wanted. I thought he had just panicked, so I told him I had forgot about the promises , it was ok, I just wanted him in life, so he came back, but never stayed as long as before with more and more excuses. I tried my best to be patient.
I wrote him an email yesterday and got back another breakup type message. however he always leaves the door open he just needs time and we need to slow down.
At this point I am so hurt and confused by his actions and words. the last time he was here he took me out to dinner and we just snuggled, that was all he wanted. my first thought was another women, he says no he is just depressed.
Right now I am mostly upset about my reactions and my denial, this has gone on too long, if nothing else he has learned he can let me down and I still love him. Each time I swear I will not text or email or call, then in a moment of weakness I do. he will come running, then he is off again. I am so tired of this, why can't I just tell him to go to H... at this point I am definatley putting in more effort than him.

[wolfie91]

At this point, he is stringing you along. He doesn't know what he wants, and doesn't see a problem in keeping you in limbo while he decides. It's unfair to both of you, and I would be inclined to back off, sever ties, and cut your losses. In the short term, more painful, but it will keep you out of the long-term emotional entanglement you will get if you wait for him any more.

It seems, though, that you know this. You just need to be gentle with yourself. Slow down, think about your actions. Rationalize. Go slowly. Don't rush yourself into these setbacks.

[VincenzoG91]

Just before Valentine's Day? Sounds like an ex popped up out of the woodwork, and he doesn't want to tell you about her.