Need help :(

[Small_bird]

Can somebody please give me an advice? This is the first time I had a long term relationship so I'm not very experienced.
Naimly, I had a boyfriend for a year and 8 months. We had a really wonderful relationship, we loved each other, we understood each other very well, our communication was very good we were also the best friends, we were very very close. 3 weeks ago we broke up after I was out of country for 2 months..he said he doesn't love me anymore but he wants us to be friends. It really hurted a lot, but finally I accepted the offer to be friends but he was always very cold hearted with me and cruel. when i mentioned our relationship or say something sweet or how i miss him him would just say "what do you expect?" He coldheartedly rejected me after i showed to him an album that i make out of our pictures together just a s a memory. I never said i want him back.
once we went out on a coffee and i cried in front of him because it felt like there is some wall between us and he didn't say anything or hug me.....
A few days ago he told me he liked another girl...ofcourse i was pissed of and so hurt. after that i didnt want to talk to him any more..then today he contacted me on IM and started yelling like why don't i contact him and telling him that I don't want to be friends with him. I said i don't want to humiliate myself anymore because i always contacted him and tried to talk but he was cold.
at the end he told me that i am double faced because i was telling about all that to my best friend!!
I couldn't stand it anymore. I told him goodbye FOREVER. This is not the whole story but it would be too long to wright it all. I'm so broken. No one has ever been so cruel to me in my whole life and for really no reason.
I don't know what to do...should I apologize? But everything in me says NO. I still love him and would really like to get back together but it would be also ok to stay friends...but after this...i just can't....he doesn't understand me and doesn't want to understand....i always remember our past times....how does it happen that people who understood each other so good become complete strangers?
Ah..i think i'll have to let him go....but I'm so afraid...

[Cain]

I stand by what I've said about people not being able to remain friends if one person still has romantic feelings for the other. If you think there's a chance that you two would get back together, then by all means, keep in contact. But you know him better than we do. If he is moving on to another girl, chances are that you and he won't be getting back together and so a friendship probably won't work.

I'm in the same situation in a way. My ex and I broke up and I'm working on staying friends just so I can see if we have a chance at getting back together. If it turns out that we don't, I'm moving on and not staying in contact because it will be too hard. You should do the same.

[Small_bird]

I know..but it's so hard...i really want him in my life somehow....

[Cain]

I know..but it's so hard...i really want him in my life somehow....

If you aren't together, him being in your life as a friend will only make things harder for you.

He'll move on. You won't.

[Kromat]

My ex and I broke up and I'm working on staying friends just so I can see if we have a chance at getting back together. If it turns out that we don't, I'm moving on and not staying in contact because it will be too hard. You should do the same.

It must be bad for the two of you, to have to put so much effort towards building a bond and then a divorce separates any contact that you'll have in the future.

[Cain]

It must be bad for the two of you, to have to put so much effort towards building a bond and then a divorce separates any contact that you'll have in the future.

Well, we weren't married, so I'll substitute separation for divorce.

And yes, it is difficult thinking that after all of the time and work we've put into this, the relationship could be over just like that. It's funny, because just two days before we broke up she was telling me that she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

[littlewing]

From what you wrote he sounds like he has already cut you off his life. Why would you spend any efford trying to be near a person when that person doesn't spend any efford to be near you? It's a lose lose situation either way... he is just not the same

[Small_bird]

Today he contacted me again....although we said goodbye forever....i don't understand what he wants....i think of telling him that i cannot be friends unless he apologizes....but i'm afraid he will refuse it....

[awakenedbear]

Smallbird, I'm very sorry for your pain. Honestly, I don't think he knows what he wants. Yeah, he may still care about you, but I also think if he finds what he's looking for in another girl, he will drop you in a heartbeat and wind up hurting you worse.

People can grow apart- it really sucks. Someday, I believe it is possible for you to be friends again, but after both of you have had time to move on and grow a little, and learn more about yourselves- especially him from what you've been telling us. Cain is right that right now it is too hard and too soon for you to be friends.

The pain lessens in time, I promise. Hang in there.

[Hurt~Angel]

From what you wrote i understand that that guy doesnot love you anymore..

I know i'm a bit too direct by saying that..
but bear in mind..the guy him no matter what has definetely moving on on you and i sincerely think that you must do the same..

I know how hard it is..but you just can't stay here waiting ..being friend with him is a bad idea..because you stll have feeling for him and by doing so..you may have hope deep inside that someday somehow he turned again to you,....and this hope might keep you far from the track..

I can tell you sincerely that to forget someone you love is ...sometimes difficult..
relations are complicated..I once felt very down because of someone i considere more than anything.,.he was like my brother..and he just used me and went away with no explanation..now i can imagine you how much pain you are feeling..

Well i know that somehow you just can't understand how can the something you had turned to nothing...
but the advice i can gave you..let it out..cry all your soul out..and then take courage and move on..

drop the cards..and take a new hand...

SIncerely take care..

[Small_bird]

Thank you all very much, I really appreciate your help.
I hope I'll get better soon....
Honestly, i still deep inside hope he'll change his mind..but we haven't contacted for more then a week....i miss him a lot....
Thanks again

[klickaroos]

I believe that it's hard to be friends with your ex specially if the break up is not so good...just move on, my dear!