Really need answers.

[Bigfella]

Hi. I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years. It's been good, both passionate and exciting. I'm 45 and with two failed marriages behind me. I know this is going to sound corny but this girl has had a profound effect on me.
Things have been good between us although the relationship was never official. People saw us as friends. It was her wish we kept things to ourselves.
She has three wonderful children and came out of an abusive relationship two years before we met. She is 36years old.
I noticed she was getting a little down a few weeks ago and asked if I could help. She said no giving reasons as the kids problems with her ex etc as her reasons.
I pointed out to her that if she wasn't happy with anything with us then she just had to say. I do love her and if I was in any way making her down and we couldn't work it out I would part on amicable terms.
She gave me a cuddle and said no it's not me.
A week later she said she was feeling down and needed some space. I said ok. She said it had nothing at all to do with me.
I was concerned for her. It was the first time she had not involved me in her problems. I was always the
Shoulder for her.
I sent a message each day just saying hi hope your ok etc to let her know I care. She never replied to any. Then one day on my way home I phoned to see if she needed any groceries etc. she lives in the sticks and this was something I always did. She didn't reply and I was close to hers so just knocked at door. She was in but would not come to door. I left a text saying I called to which she replied " don't come round here uninvited it pisses me off".
That shocked me. Bearing in mind what we had together she was very hurtful by not at least opening door to me.
I asked her what the problem was. She didn't answer the message until much laying saying she was depressed and needed time out from everyone not just me.
I accepted this but a few days later called at her mums to drop something off. The atmosphere was awkward and her mum started going on about how I was acting with her was not normal and I should stay away.
She doesn't know we wee intimate as does anyone else. She gave an impression her daughter was tired of me.
I was devastated to hear this. What we had was always on her terms. I was there if she wanted me there. I did all I could for her and the kids. We had a good thing I thought.
I sent an email as I was wanting to know what the hell was going on.
I was not rude or angry.
I just said I was in a position where I was made to feel the problem is me.
I also explained I needed to know how she felt and would respect her decision.
I do love this woman but if I'm upsetting her or making her down for some reason then I should end.
She has replied yet. Almost a week.
To cut me off totally really does hurt. No one knows what we had so doesn't see things as I do.
I really need to know what people think my best option is.
I have tools etc at hers and need to get these but I'm a little scared of contacting her after the meet with her mum.

[Cerby]

Ok, sadly it appears that whatever is happening, she no longer wants you to be apart of it. What is worse is you're constantly poking at her after she told you to give her some space. So that leaves only one option in my opinion.

Call her, tell her you need anything she has back, get it all in one trip, and don't call again. Sounds crappy, but it is the only way you'll actually show her that dicking around isn't working for you.

[Steelers<3]

Ok, sadly it appears that whatever is happening, she no longer wants you to be apart of it. What is worse is you're constantly poking at her after she told you to give her some space. So that leaves only one option in my opinion.

Call her, tell her you need anything she has back, get it all in one trip, and don't call again. Sounds crappy, but it is the only way you'll actually show her that dicking around isn't working for you.

I totally agree. I'm sure it hurts the way she pretty rudely just cut you off. I would think that after all you said you've done for her you deserve an explanation. Thats what I think but, I'm also not a crazy bitch. Time to part ways hun.. Or if you have a feeling this is some phase she's going through, ask for your shit and let her feel like its not you that needs her. Let her see your fine on your own.

[Bigfella]

Thank you for your replies.
As a further addition to this situation. Her young daughter has contacted me asking if I would fix her computer. I replied to her message saying yes as long as her mum knows. It could be resolved over the phone so I agreed to ring her if I knew her mum was ok with this.
She text back saying mum said it was fine.
I phoned her and first asked to speak to her mum to check it genuinely was ok. She said yes and seemed a little down but at the same time her youngest daughter was in the back ground begging her mum to let her speak to me. She did and the little one had a chat with me on phone. I then went back to her other daughter and solved the computer issue.
After this I asked to speak to her mum again.
I explained what I'd done with the pc and it should be ok. I asked if she was ok she said yes and I used the opportunity to again say to just be straight and honest about things. I did not want fall out with her and she has as much time as she needs but for both our sakes if it was me then say so we can clear the air.
It's been over a week now and still nothing. She is out and about with her friends and apparently is quite ok.
A close friend of hers has told me she has depression.
I'm torn. Is the cause anything with me if so I'm better say from her to let her get better. If its not and I say I'll come and pick my stuff up I won't be helping her by doing this.
I love her and just want to see her happy be it with me or not. But no responses from the email or the phone chat leave me confused as to what to do next.

[jetta86s]

Ok, sadly it appears that whatever is happening, she no longer wants you to be apart of it. What is worse is you're constantly poking at her after she told you to give her some space. So that leaves only one option in my opinion.

Call her, tell her you need anything she has back, get it all in one trip, and don't call again. Sounds crappy, but it is the only way you'll actually show her that dicking around isn't working for you.

Yeah I agree with you there! One big shoot and you have to do your best. It's kind of make it or break it. At least you did what you can.