got a new job, but still upset

[Nikonian]

Hi,

I had recently met a girl few months ago. It's actually not our first time to meet because we know each other 2 yrs ago, but we never really talked much. She is an student/intern in my company from May to Aug in this year. She is a PhD candidate, and I'm just a typical guy.

At first I chatted with her like a friend, but over the period of time, I think I really in love with her. She is actually older than me 1 yr, and was married, but now divorced because she and her ex wanted different things. Her ex was also younger than her.

I asked her out for coffee, lunches. She is normally OK with it. She did went out with me couple times, but always rejected my ask for supper.

On her last week of her internship, she left her job at my company few days early without telling me or even say a good-bye. She drove back to her school which is 14 hrs away. And I wasn't even aware of it.
It's kinda sad for me to see her leave without saying good-bye.
I tried to reach her after her departure on email/Twitter, but got no answer. Few days after, I found she is safely arrived at her school (her school is located couple States away). But she won't even reply to me.

I actually wrote a long email to her about my like to her, and tell her all the things after she left because she didnt even tell anyone where is she going. I really wanna reach her again and see if I can go and visit her, but she seems to be trying to avoid me. I mean she removed me on Twitter or even on LinkedIn.

I'm now very confused, and not sure what to do. I know she is very busy at studies/work as a PhD student, but I'm still confused and frustrated.

I'm now get a new job at California (from East Coast to West Coast), and her school is in the East Coast. She is the one actually encourage me to find a new job because my company is going down. But now I got a new job that I can't even celebrate with her.

She is a normally a very shy girl, but she was willing to at least go have lunch and stuff with me.

What do you guys think? I know her school, should I fly there and pop up to see her? Is it too creepy? But I think I'm really love her now

p.s. she is Caucasian and I'm an Asian guy, could this be it?

[searock]

She always rejected your invitations to dinner means that she sees you exclusively as friends material. I bet she felt suffocated by your attentions and "love e-mails", so she tried to break all contact with you. She could've at least tried to explain it to you alright, but in any case, the message is quite clear now. Yeah, flying to the other side of the states just to "casually" bump into her is very creepy (considering she already rejected you), especially if she knows where you live now. Oh and I really don't see how the caucasian-asian thing could have anything to do with this. She just isn't into you.

[Nikonian]

She always rejected your invitations to dinner means that she sees you exclusively as friends material. I bet she felt suffocated by your attentions and "love e-mails", so she tried to break all contact with you. She could've at least tried to explain it to you alright, but in any case, the message is quite clear now. Yeah, flying to the other side of the states just to "casually" bump into her is very creepy (considering she already rejected you), especially if she knows where you live now. Oh and I really don't see how the caucasian-asian thing could have anything to do with this. She just isn't into you.

I guess so.. it's sad that I can't even stay as friends with her.

[bulrush]

I think you came on too strong, and that was part of the issue, or she didn't know you well enough. She does not sound interested, at all. Time to move on. Some chicks like Asian guys, some don't. It's nothing personal, so don't take it that way.

I took a risk and came on too strong with a girl on the first date. We really had a lot in common, or so I thought. I totally ruined it. She never wanted to meet again. I don't blame her. If a girl did to me, what I did to her, I'd be very wary. Now I reign in my emotions and I'm more realistic about things.

[James Banes]

Yeah, you came on too strong. Ethnicity has nothing to do with it. She left without telling you. She doesn't answer your messages. She's not interested in you and probably creeped out by your attention. Move on.

Make sure you do not fly over and see her.

[devonbrown]

searock was 100% right. She wasn't interested in you from the beginning. To her, coffee and lunches at work were just friendly things. Dinner takes it to another level where she didn't want to go with you. She went back to school without telling you because she doesn't care enough to tell you. She deleted you from her social media outlets because she is already creeped out by your long email declaring your love for her, etc.

What you have to do is understand that you became infatuated with her. Then you convinced yourself it was more than that. On her part it was never anything close to romantic. It is just the way things are.

I guess so.. it's sad that I can't even stay as friends with her.

I am afraid that that ship has sailed. I doubt she will see you as a friend at this point, knowing how you think about her.

And, going across the country to "drop in" at her college is a good way to get a restraining order placed on yourself. So only do that if you enjoy court-ordered restrictions on your movements.

[Nikonian]

searock was 100% right. She wasn't interested in you from the beginning. To her, coffee and lunches at work were just friendly things. Dinner takes it to another level where she didn't want to go with you. She went back to school without telling you because she doesn't care enough to tell you. She deleted you from her social media outlets because she is already creeped out by your long email declaring your love for her, etc.

What you have to do is understand that you became infatuated with her. Then you convinced yourself it was more than that. On her part it was never anything close to romantic. It is just the way things are.



I am afraid that that ship has sailed. I doubt she will see you as a friend at this point, knowing how you think about her.

And, going across the country to "drop in" at her college is a good way to get a restraining order placed on yourself. So only do that if you enjoy court-ordered restrictions on your movements.

I guess so.

Maybe couple months from now, time will help to at least get back on connection with her?
But couple months from now, things will change.

oh well.

[Nikonian]

So I was able to get a hold of her on GTalk and she added me back on Twitter. What's that exactly mean?

[searock]

So I was able to get a hold of her on GTalk and she added me back on Twitter. What's that exactly mean?

That your posts will appear on her homepage when she logs on to twitter. That's. All.

[devonbrown]

So I was able to get a hold of her on GTalk and she added me back on Twitter. What's that exactly mean?

It means that you haven't stopped the semi-stalking of her that you are doing. Leave her be. Let her contact you if she wants to.