When I asked him generally if he saw himself getting married, he said no. The only thing he would tell me about his plans for the next couple of years was he wanted to pay off his student loans. He mentioned his job might get relocated and he was on the fence about going; when I asked “what about me?”, all I got was a joke that he would pack me in his suitcase. The bottom-line is our talks were not very productive, and I didn’t want to spend another 2-3 years with someone who wasn’t including me in future plans.
I'm guessing he isn't stupid. So I doubt he misinterpreted what you were asking of him. If you flat out asked him if he sees himself getting married and he said, "no", then you need to take him at his word. Sure, he could change his mind, but his deflective responses to your serious question says, to me, that he isn't ready to even consider getting married at this point. You are right that 3 years should be enough time for someone to decide if they want to marry their SO, and clearly your ex isn't at that point in his life where he is ready for that step. The last thing you want to do is talk someone into marrying you. If you have to shake the head of the person you're with to make them see that what you have together is worth it, then it will never be worth it to them. At least not in the same way it is to you. Another thing you don't want to do is waste your time on someone who isn't ready for the same things you are ready for. It's perfectly ok for you to want to get married, and maybe you are ready for that milestone; but as much as it's ok for you to be ready for that next step, it's perfectly acceptable for him not to be. I think your gut instinct to end the relationship was the right move, and I think you are back tracking because you are worried he may be the only one out there for you. But I guarantee you that he isn't. Relationships don't have to be disastrous to warrant a break up. A break up is perfectly acceptable for any reason, and the reason here is that you two don't want the same things at the same time.
It’s been a week, and I haven’t heard anything...I still have some concerns that we didn’t get to cover.
Did you straight up ask him whether or not he wants to marry you? How exactly did the conversation go, and what pieces of the conversation were left out, if you feel anxious about it? Guys definitely need more time to mull things over, especially if the discussion wasn't brought about on their own volition. He may need more time than one week to think about what was discussed, and then how to respond to you once he's decided how he feels about it.
As for the dating profile, it's been proven that guys tend to be hit harder by breakups than women are, and almost always go for the rebound immediately after the relationship ends. That's typical behavior of dudes. I don't think it's a sign that he doesn't care about you, or that the relationship wasn't as significant to him as it was to you, I think it's purely a way for him to keep his mind off of the negative, by seeking the attention of people via online dating. Also, you are active on this dating site now, so it's kind of a moot point. Besides, you two are officially broken up, so both of you are free to do whatever you want, with whomever you want. As shitty as that is to hear, it's true. You're not in the position to create boundaries for him when it comes to seeing the company of other women at this point. Having said that, just because he's reactivated his account, doesn't mean he's actively looking to date someone. I think if you two get together again to talk things over, you should bring this up; but only if he has said he has given a lot of thought to the idea of you two getting married, and you two both want to get back together.
"Caring is not an advantage."