My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me last night. Short background: we got together 2 months after his 8 year relationship ended, she cheated on him. Throughout our relationship he treated me well, loyal, honest, but he had an emotionall wall up and we both knew this.
I was arguing with him more recently (he doesn't communicate much when we argue, mostly me doing the talking so I get frustrated) but I try to communicate effectively without saying things I will regret. Finally last night he said (paraphrasing) "I don't want to fight anymore or at all. I can't do this anymore, I have to move on. Don't chase something you're never going to get from me (love). You deserve to find someone else who will. I have to do this, I don't think this can last. I don't want to hurt you anymore and can't keep up with this, goodbye" I knew that he had to be ******* or else he knew I wouldn't walk away. Even though I told myself Id never do it, I begged and pleadd and left voicemails.
So today starts Day 1 of No Contact. I've only felt this heartbroken once before 4 years ago with an ex so I've done this before, and I know this isn't going to be any easier. HOWEVER, I feel like I'm doing NC to see if he contacts me instead of using it to move on. I know I shouldn't after he made it clear of many things when we broke up and why would I want to go back to that. I just want to know if he's hurting too even though he's the dumper.
Another thing, I don't go out much, I'm kind of an introvert so it's hard for me to find something to do to keep my mind off things, but I do work full-time but I know when i'm home I'm just going to cry myself to sleep til I can get over this, how awful that I've been through something like this before and yet repeat the same heartbroken experience, I need to be stronger! Any advice?