Help. :-[

[Handle]

Hi, I have known this girl and she is my best friend since pre-school and I fell in love with her since I was in 2nd grade and I still love her. She have dated many guys and she usually date with cute guys but I'm not really that cute but I have soft heart. Anyways, few week ago, I decided to tell her how I felt about her and She told me that she is not interesting in me because we knew each other for long time and she felt like we are like brother and sister and I was upset because I wasn't expecting she going to said that reason but I knew she would rejects me so I respect her feelings and then I decided another ways to make her fall in love with me too which that I flirted with her, talked with her in person and online, but none of that worked. So, please help me make her in love with me because I really madly in love with her and feel like I couldnt live without her and I don't completely understand what's wrong with me that she couldnt love me. Couldnt friendship turn to love sometime? Do you ever experience in love with one of your best friend(s)? Reply will be much apperication.

[whaywardj]

Sorry, Handle. You can't make her love you. Let it go.

[gHEXjt]

Just like Hayward said, you can't make someone fall in love with you. It's got to happen for them on their own.

Sometimes friendship does turn in to love, it has for me. But obviously she does not feel the same way that you do, so you just need to let it go and continue to be her friend, unless that's too much for you. And you never know, maybe someday she'll return the feelings you have, but do not count on it and sit around waiting for that to happen.

[Junsui]

Since she sees you as a brother, I don't see it ever turning into a romantic relationship. Like the other two already said, you can't make her fall in love you.

[mini696]

She uses the "sees you as a brother" excuse to let you down gently and keep you areound for the comfort factor.

You CANNOT make someone love you, so dont start getting all desperate and sending flowers and gifts to try and show how much of a nice guy you will be, that will make you seem strange and weird.

You'll have to find someone else sorry.

[Junsui]

Keep him around for the comfort factor? They've been friends forever, it's not like they broke up and she said that to him.

[Asip4u]

There probably is a little bit of a comfort factor there too. Jun, I think mini is talking about knowning someone for so long and using them as a shoulder to cry on...but who knows...I agree with most here. Let it go or else you'll just go nuts.

[Junsui]

I don't know Asip. I would think she likes his friendship and has been there for him as well and just doesn't see him as someone to date.

[Asip4u]

You are sooo wrong, Jun..hehe j/k...I don't know..I think everyone has something to offer and if she saw him as trustworthy and someone who won't always hit on her as other guys, it's something to use, no? I agree, it can go both ways.

[Junsui]

I don't see how it's Using someone. I am best friends with a girl, but since she's a girl I'm not using her for comfort? Or are all friendships just people using other people? Also, he said he has known her since pre-school, so basically they grew up together. I can clearly see how that could be like a brother/sister relationship.

[Asip4u]

Jun, I believe that true friendship between males and females is rare. In fact, we've discussed it in previous threads. This guy already mentioned that he liked (he used loved) her since the 2nd grade. We all know that friends can fall for each other especially when there's attraction from both parties.

Now, the fact that she can come to him any time and talk about her issues with b/f's and so on is a way of using him. He has known for how many years now that he had felt more towards her?. Perhaps it's his fault for waiting this long to make his move. If he had known before, i'm sure he would have moved on. Why stay around someone you're in love with if that person cannot return the same back?

[sashna]

I no this probably isn't what u want to hear, but I expect she got freeked out a bit by ur confession of love.
It seems to me that she is trying to ignore ur flirting because she wants to remain friends with you.
If she liked you too, or thought she could possibly like you in the future, she would have given you signs as well.
I'm very sorry, but you can't make her like you, believe me i'v tried but it jst doesn't work. It has to be her decision, and as she sees you as a brother and isn't responding to ur flirting then it looks doubtful at the moment.
The only thing i could suggest is stop being so clingy. Girls like the chase too, and perhaps she's the type of girl who will pine for your afections once you 'remove' them. So perhaps stop messaging her so much and spending so much time with her.
Sorry if this wasn't what u wanted to hear. Good luck with everything!

[Handle]

Thanks.. What everyone trying to said I should let it go so I guess youre right I had to let it go even though I still love her.

[Junsui]

Jun, I believe that true friendship between males and females is rare. In fact, we've discussed it in previous threads. This guy already mentioned that he liked (he used loved) her since the 2nd grade. We all know that friends can fall for each other especially when there's attraction from both parties.

Now, the fact that she can come to him any time and talk about her issues with b/f's and so on is a way of using him. He has known for how many years now that he had felt more towards her?. Perhaps it's his fault for waiting this long to make his move. If he had known before, i'm sure he would have moved on. Why stay around someone you're in love with if that person cannot return the same back?

I guess. One of my good friends is a guy and I know he doesn't want to get with me and I don't want to get with him. So, I guess it's harder for me to understand why people can't just be friends if they are of the opposite sex, but oh well. Since he already confessed his love for her, I know that it won't really work out, friendship wise. And yes, she may have gone to him about bf's, but wouldn't he have gone to her about gf's if he had dated anyone? I just don't see how her being able to talk to him about things was using him. I don't know.

[mini696]

I guess. One of my good friends is a guy and I know he doesn't want to get with me and I don't want to get with him. So, I guess it's harder for me to understand why people can't just be friends if they are of the opposite sex, but oh well. Since he already confessed his love for her, I know that it won't really work out, friendship wise. And yes, she may have gone to him about bf's, but wouldn't he have gone to her about gf's if he had dated anyone? I just don't see how her being able to talk to him about things was using him. I don't know.

I have a close relationship with a female friend, and always have. A long time ago, when we were still both virgins, we had a physical (lustful) attraction, but never took that step.

We are still friends today, and it does cause issues with my GF's -they just dont seem to understand- however, we aren't talking at the moment, because I just broke up with my GF, and I blame her.

But yeah you can remain friends, and I believe it is even possible once one of them has "declared their love" for the other. But it can take time.