Pregnant by ex bf & don't know what to do

[chloe80]

I had been on four dates with a great guy & he went out of town for work for a week. My ex-bf, who had always been persistent about getting back together, kept calling/texting me one night wanting to come over to talk. After repeatedly telling him no, I gave in & let him come over. We started drinking & ended up having sex. The new guy came back to town & we continued going out. I liked him a lot & let him meet my mom,dad,sister,aunt, uncle, & cousin. They all liked him so much & never liked the ex-bf that much. I told the new guy I loved him so much & never wanted to be with anyone else. He said it back to me & we continued telling each other we loved each other for the next few weeks. Then my period was late & I'm now pregnant by my ex-bf. The new guy & I hadn't been sexual at the time that corresponds with how far along I am.

The ex-bf & I always would get in stupid arguments that would lead to us breaking up & usually alcohol was involved. He's in the Navy & will be out to sea when the baby is born. He's a good guy & wants to be with me but he's not as good a guy as the new boyfriend was. I stopped things cold turkey with the new guy when I found out I was pregnant & told him I just didn't have feelings for him which was a lie but I was ashamed to tell the truth. When he came over a couple weeks later to get his things I told him the truth. He was hurt but surprisingly said he still wanted to be with me & would treat the baby as if it was his own.

My parents weren't supportive at all in the beginning when I told them but have come around some lately. They still do not like the ex-bf & are mad at me for screwing things up with the new guy. I know I will have a bond with my ex because of our baby for the rest of my life so I'm wondering should I try to make the relationship work with the baby's father, get back with the new guy, or just concentrate on myself right now until I have the baby?

[BillyGalbreath]

Stick with the new guy. Trust me. Been there done that, except I'm the "ex" in your story. Your best interest is with the new guy.

[Doc Durian]

If I was a woman in your circumstances, I'd have the baby and give it up for adoption... unless, and only unless, your new bf finds it completely objectionable and truly expresses a real desire to be the babies father...

If that's the case, he's one in a million..

Don't screw him about EVER again for as long as you live.

[Rollerderby]

He is a great guy.

But, how long have you been seeing each other? Hopefully the feelings you have for each other are real, because jumping from being in love to having a family is intense.

[Yggdrasil]

If he wants to raise the child as his own, you better count your blessings and give this guy all the love, respect and appreciation he deserves (without putting yourself down of course).

[chloe80]

I had been seeing the new guy for 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. The ex and I dated for about 3 months or so before we broke up because we were always arguing, granted sometimes over stupid, small things. Both guys are good guys which makes it hard for me to decide what to do. I feel like I should try to be with the baby's father but in doing so I know what I'm missing out on.

[Yggdrasil]

The ex and I dated for about 3 months or so before we broke up because we were always arguing, granted sometimes over stupid, small things.

He's your ex-boyfriend for a reason.

The ex-bf & I always would get in stupid arguments that would lead to us breaking up & usually alcohol was involved.

You have to do what is best for you and the baby, and verbal abuse mixed with alcohol doesn't seem a great environment for a child.

Your life of course.

I suggest you go sit down and think very, very hard what's the best for you and the baby in the long run.

[Lipp]

Stick with the new guy. Even based on the recent events you got impregnated by your ex, and the new guy has shown that he'll stick around even though he hasn't been with you for long, and also despite that you lied to him and almost broke up.

So yeah, new guy for sure if you're insisting on continuing with the pregnancy/keeping the baby.

[chloe80]

Stick with the new guy. Even based on the recent events you got impregnated by your ex, and the new guy has shown that he'll stick around even though he hasn't been with you for long, and also despite that you lied to him and almost broke up.

So yeah, new guy for sure if you're insisting on continuing with the pregnancy/keeping the baby.

I didn't almost broke up with the new guy, I did break up with the new guy. I don't know if it was the right decision or not. Right now I'm not with either guy but do talk to the baby's father more. I feel like he has the right to know how things are progressing with the baby. He & I still talked occasionally while I was dating the new guy also. I don't know if the new guy would take me back or not but so many of you seem to think that is the right thing for me to do so I'm wondering if I should talk to him. Thank you for your insight and help. Feel free to add anything and for anyone else to respond. Thank you everyone.

[damn2008]

Big question...how old are you and the people involved?

[chloe80]

Big question...how old are you and the people involved?

Hi,

I'm 29, the new guy is 35, and the ex is 31. I have a master's degree & a good job. Financially I would be able to support myself and the baby without help from either guy.

[Spicy]

I say go it on your own until the baby is born and then perhaps you'll see things more clearly. Right now chances are you are hormonal and needy.

Why put the new guy through the ringer and have him be attached to you and the baby when you really have no clue as to what you want.

As for the the first guy, he's an ex for a reason. Alcohol, arguments
and babies don't mix.

[Junket]

What the f*ck is wrong with you people?

I'd like the new guy to come in here so he can see she was still getting boinked by her ex. Clearly putting this guy in the "ex" category wasn't enough to keep her legs closed to him.

Stay away from the new guy, he's too good for you, and doesn't need to raise a stranger's kid.

[lesa]

Alcohol?

What do you want to do chloe, with the baby and all?

[Mish]

I wonder how 'accidental' was the pregnancy. Accidents like these don't usually happen.