referred by king zarathu

[drano]

pretext: ADVICE

I'm well underway to acheiving my status as a nosy democratic socialist in my job and life, at age 20 so of course so at this point my dedication only shows in the socialist slogans spray painted onto the sides of large corporations but HO back to three years ago when I was living on the street in motels funded by mental health clinic that would only house you if you were diagnosed with a mental illness. As was the case with my mother. For two years my hausing, this apartment, and even being able to graduate high school was all thanks to her being bi-polar, as sick as that may sound.

She's been dealing with this since she was sixteen and it gets progressively worse by the year, she flies into a manic episode and it's look out watchtower - she has had her nose broken twice in the last two months, right now her face is a bloody black and blue mess because one of her exes decided to beat the shit out of her so he could take our pot roast :confused:.
This being the same ex who broke her nose six months ago and was 86ed from the apartment building, and the same ex who was reported to management by a neighbor who saw him being smuggled through our window when he wasn't supposed to be in the building, and the entire reason for the eviction notice we received three days later stating we had to be out of the building by the 18th of December. I find it incredibly strange that of all the abusive men she's turnbed away in her life she chose this one to screw it all up, because she is a very outspoken woman who is highly regarded by friends as being a strong character despite her tendency to hit the pillow for two weeks at a time and her nasty little drug habit.

Thing is, we're being evicted the 18th. I have a place to go in Vancouver, I have a job, and my whole life could be set if I let her go.
But she has noone. She doesn't have a job, or dependable friends. And she has repeatedly asked me to stay with her, and I almost feel like I owe it to her because she's at a breaking point. She will commit suicide if I leave. I don't think this, I know this, because aside from being hospitalised for a broken nose, she was held for two suicide attempts this month. I am already paying out the rear trying to take care of her meds and emergency room bills, she's going through a court case to keep the apartment we have right now - sneaky because even if it doesn't succeed it will keep her haused until at least february.


I'm too young to take care of anybody before I take care of myself, but my mother is too ill to not be taken care of.
This is my dilemma. /subtext

[Gribble]

Jeeze, man... My problems are shit compared to yours. I don't really know what to say to this. I guess you can't drag her to Vancouver with you, huh? No other family, nothing? I can't suggest you abandon your own mother to die, but giving up a shot at a decent life doesn't seem right. I hope somebody here has decent advice, because you really do need it.

[Gigabitch]

Dude, that is all kinds of ****ed up. Generally, I would say that you cannot be held responsible for the mental health of another unless you're evil and messing with them on purpose, but the woman is crazy to begin with, so you're kinda stuck, aren't you?

How long are you to be expected to carry her through your life, though? The threat of imminent suicide will always be there with her, every time you take a step in your own direction. So will that lovely-sounding ex of hers.

At some point, be it now or in 20 years, you're going to have to decide to give up your own life in the interest of hers, or take the chance that she'll give up her own life and you have to let that happen in the interest of yours.

I wouldn't be so sure she'll do it, actually, but hey, you know a lot more about her than I do.

Objetive opinion: It's you or her. Pick one.

[drano]

No no, this became a measure 11 case the minute she stepped foot through that emergency room door. Max fine for that dickhead is seven years and no matter what my situation may be i fully intend to his prosecution all the way through.

[drano]

Unfortunately, Nicole, that's the sad part. I know she's like a child right now, and if you were to leave... Actually, before I finish that, I want to tell you about a dream I had a long time ago. I actually got a counselor and talked it over just because of that dream.

To keep things short and simple, me, my step-mom, sister, and my dad were all in this sort of concentration camp place. It was indoors though, and there wasn't exactly much work involved.

We were all prisoners of this huge building that had guards around it all over the place. I could hear the screams and the gunshots, and I was horrified as I saw blood slide from underneath doors while the shadows sent a chill down my spine.

I was separated from my family multiple times throughout this dream, but most of the time it was because of my own doing. They would be together, and I'd leave, trying to find a way to escape. To skip all of the details that nobody gives a shit about, I finally found a way to escape. [Note: Wow. I JUST now realized that the building's structure was EXACTLY that of my junior high! ****ing creepy.] The guards would turn the corner any second and they'd shoot me on the spot. I had a decision to make. I could either go back in, risk my life, and get my family, or I could save myself.

I think this is about where the most terrorizing part came into play. Have you ever had a lucid dream? You have complete control over yourself, but not the other characters in the dream. It's like real life--in your head. As soon as I realized I was going to have to make that decision, I was given control. It was like I was crying inside of me, begging myself to not force the decision upon my conscious mind. I was begging myself to wake up, but I stayed in this awful "pseudoreality."

I knew that if I left, they would be dead. I knew that staying with them meant that we would all live but be slaves and prisoners of a greater power. The decision I ended up making, I think, really changed how I looked at life from then on. I haven't shared this dream with anybody other than the counselor, and I can't see this coming up in future conversations. My decision in the dream affected how I treated my family in real life.

---

I'll tell you later.


You need to make your own decision.

I see that repeating idea, but I'm leaning more towards getting her legal help and Than getting on with my life. I wasn't sure where to fit that part in, and to be honest there's no way any of you could help me with it unless you knew homeless and insurance programs in Portland.
It will be a large setback to me.
That's why I'm drinking right now!

[drano]

You totally did not get my point.

I was responding to giga and got caught up in a conversation with a neighbor about dinner plans, sorry :/

[drano]

I honestly couldn't tell you that I have any clue as to how the government would handle this, but I'm young and cursed with that horrid thing we call optimism, and one of the only things that keeps me going is beleiving that the government will play its role in hausing our mentally ill citizens.
"socialization is the key"

[Gribble]

the government just doesn't give a shit

You'd be surprised. Uncle Sam coughs up 20 grand a year so long as I'm in college. Keep your eyes open, drano. Might sound like a crazy way to make money, but consider enrolling in college and filling out a FAFSA.

[drano]

You'd be surprised. Uncle Sam coughs up 20 grand a year so long as I'm in college. Keep your eyes open, drano. Might sound like a crazy way to make money, but consider enrolling in college and filling out a FAFSA.

the government haused myself and mother before and bumped us on the section 8 waiting list after we spent 3 hours a day squeaking the wheel in the HAP office, all I need is the resources and the time to do it.
I work as an in home care taker for the mentally and physically disabled and everyone of them is on a government funded support program, I beleive in our government very much and am planning my career in the health feild living out my FAFSA funded education. As I said, my whole future is set, but she is my setback.

[Gribble]

Well, you said you couldn't afford to take care of her, right? Here's the secret to the FAFSA: when you fill it out be sure to check the box stating you're interested in a work study program. It'll make the difference between the government paying your tuition and the government paying your tuition along with an extra 10,000 or so bucks. You'll have to work about 6 hours a week for your college of choice (only during the semester), but you'll get paid between 8-10 bucks an hour for it plus two $5,000 checks a year. Not bad.

[drano]

Desk jobs only Ah, gussing up to work a desk job for a reputable school and faculty, what refreshing change from my regular hands and knees day in labor I work for my hopefully damn greatful clients.
Oh what am I saying I'd be happy even if they stuck me as janitor.