Don't know what im expecting here...

[ah24]

Hi guys/gals

Just joined this forum as i need to pour my heart out somwhere!! i think im looking for advice but i really dont know

Well ill jump straight into my problem, basically i used to live in northampton and now live in crawley (about 2 hours away) and when i lived there i got to know this girl, nikki through text, phone and msn...anyway, we have never met although we only lived about 10mins away because sadly i moved after. and we have always kept contact. now im going out with cali, who iv been with for 10months now and on and off iv liked nikki. the other day i was talking to nikki and we both told each other how we felt etc n she really wants to see me...she says i always make her smile etc n she does same to me, we just get on really well.

when im talking to her i completely forget about cali which is unfair i know..but now thinking about nikki is driving me mad. i cant drive or whatever so would have to get a train to see her and am thinking of staying in a B&B overnight to see her, but i dont know if it would be worse when i cam back because i can get a bit down sometimes, especially if we really hit it off then i know nothing can happen and its not fair on cali...though if nikki lived here and i got given the choice one or the other it would be nikki everytime...

there is still loads to say about it but ill stop as i dont know where im heading with any of this

please just post up any immediate thoughts

thanks, adz x

[vashti]

My immediate thought is that you ought to break off with Cali. You aren't all that interested in her, whether or not things work out with Nikki.

[ah24]

you have a point there, but what i forgot to mention is that if me and nikki havent spoke in a few days me n cali are great...its just when me n nikki are talking i forget about her...im a bastard arent i

[TAVS]

Forget them both. Cali deserves better and Nikki will never work out.

[GrkScorp]

YES YOU ARE!!!

Sorry.. but it's true..

Here is your dilemma.. YOU!!! like cali.. but YOU!!! also like nikki alot more and feel a much greater connection with her.. However, there is a tug of war between the two powers drawing you to these two very different women..

Cali and you have great communication and have reached a good comfort zone..

Nikki is NEW, and within lies mystery that draws you, and the two of you have also reached a comfort zone, but nothing that quite dwarfs that of Cali..

So.. If I were you, I'd strongly consider whether YOU!!! are more happy with Cali or with Nikki..

If it's ok for a girl to do it in Sweet Home Alabama.. then it's ok for YOU!! to do it here..

P.S. You're still a b@stard..

[vashti]

Wow - you boys are harder on the newbie than I expected. I think wanting to have your cake and eat it too is characteristic of most young males, no?

[TAVS]

I dont know, I didnt have any cake

[vashti]

Well, at least you got to eat.

[Gigabitch]

ah24, you're painting yourself into a corner. Pretty soon you're gonna get stuck.

Question: Does Nikki know about Cali?

[Ellynn]

I say stick with what you know. You don't even know Nikki! Shes probably some girl you painted a picture of in your mind. Sure you have talked to her etc, but never face to face. You really can't judge until you meet her and besides, she lives a ways away.

As for Cali, you need to be fair to her. If you aren't sure you want to be with her, then you need to make up your mind and decide what your gonna do. Don't string her along.

[ah24]

hi all, thanks for input...most of it isnt positive but i suppose everyone is right really. what im doing to cali aint fair but i do still wanna be with her - i dont know any1 except nikki who i would rather be with. And about nikki, i know exactly what she is like, she has webcam, we regularly send pix to each other and speak on phone. Anyways, about nikki, we have decided to just try and get on as normal until it is possible for us to do anything, though i keep thinking of staying in a hotel for a night near her, i take it you are all against it?

[vashti]

Not if you break things off with Cali first...

[Gigabitch]

I agree with Vash- I think you aren't going to get over Nikki because you don't want to. So let Cali go. Go pork Nikki. If it doesn't work out, maybe Cali will take you back later.

[King Zarathu]

Nikki will be different in real life, but you know Cali is working out for you because you've been with her for 10 months. You also want to explore Nikki's body because it's a new one. It's normal.

I'm in a similar situation, except I'm single. What I would do is just get laid.