My husband ejaculates too quickly all the time, how do I help?

[Nisha]

I am 29 and my husband is 33. We have been married for last 2 months now, everytime we have sex he cums within a minute. i never reach orgasm. the longest weve ever been having sex is prob just less than 2 mins!!! i want him to go longer. last time we had sex he came just under 1 minutes or so, and claimed its cos im 'just too good' but i dont believe him.. is it really cos im 'just too good' or does he have something wrong with him? i heard that guys who pre ejaculate usually hav a lack of confidence in the bedroom department, which may be true but i duno whether that is it! I just really wanna know why he does it, and want we can do together to keep him going longer......once he goes inside me he cant stay there for more than 1 mins...i dont know why.......one of my close friend told me that her hubby penetrates her everyday for almost 10 mins and its normal...she says it should be more than 10 mins of continuous penetration else he has problem.I have never been with any other man in my life so i am not sure for this....what should i do???Is it because of his age? We got married late but i believe 33 is not too old.Is my husband having any medical problem???I want him to last longer.plss guide me.....

[pcmaster]

cos im 'just too good'

Ha ha its a lies. You might be hot and tight but its him who are too good. Tell him to stop masturbate inside of you and slow down. He should give you real good foreplay too.

[Wakeup]

Did you not have sex until you were married?
If you did have sex before you were married then why are you just looking for help on this now that you are married?
Were both of you virgins?
Does he not do any foreplay prior to penetrating you?
Why do you let him enter you if he's not brought you to orgasm prior to penetration?

You seem very inexperienced as does he so please give further info about your circumstances. You can't come on here blaming him for everything when it appears you're unable to teach or even understand how you can help with your own orgasm or his premature ejaculation.

[bcgirl]

That is why ppl should test the waters so they have more experience before getting married. In this case we run into a person who clearly lacks sexual experience thus being not completely satisfied sexually with her partner. There is a thing called sexual compatibility. Now you are stuck married to a man that you aren't sexually satisfied with. That sucks. How about telling him to give you foreplay because no woman on this planet is able to reach orgasm in one minute with just regular penetration.

[misombra]

tell him he needs to start going longer or this marriage is doomed. there are ways a guy can learn to control himself.

[smackie9]

There is a solution. There is a numbing spray you can order on line from a site that sells sex toys. He can spray it on 30 mins before. Once the numbness subsides a bit you can jerk him so he gets a hardon, then he can put on a condom so as the numbing agent doesn't affect you. That should knock down his sensitivity.

There are other techniques such as: he pulls out and squeezes his penis just below the head for a few seconds till the urge passes, then goes again then repeat if necessary.

Another way is for him to teach himself self control through masturbation. He can slow it down, do the squeeze method, then increase speed, slow down, repeat.

***Sadly there is no real cure for PE. They say it's developed in childhood from masturbating fast so as to not get caught. This is learned behavior, and it is difficult to reprogram the brain.

You have only been having sex for a short time, and you can't expect him to be like a superman in the bedroom. Pick up a few books on different methods of foreplay, sexual positions and techniques, and learn together. When it comes to sexual satisfaction, you need honest communication with each other. Stop complaining and work together.....that is what marriage is all about.

[Cerby]

Buy him a cockring and see if that helps. Simple and cheap solution if it works out. It should delay his orgasm as well as make him harder. Google it, buy one online or go to a local sex shop, and good luck.

[VerticalMoon]

What you're describing is called premature ejaculation. Nothing else you hear or read about the topic on the internet is going to be more accurate than what you'll find on legitimate medical websites. So I'm just going to link you to the website my doctor recommends to patients for all medical problems:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/premature-ejaculation/DS00578
You can look through some or all of the sections on premature ejaculation to get the answer to your question. He should probably speak to his doctor about the issue.

[Nisha]

Thanks for suggestions.
We both were virgin till we got married. May be he is suffering from P.E.
Dont know he will get ok. Anyway i will try for any possible solution mentioned above.

[michelle23]

Okay first of all what your friend said is not true. The average time for a man is 2-9mins. Anything under 2mins or over 9mins is considered abnormal.

You and your husband have just started having sex so itsvperfectly normal for him to come so fast for awhile.

You can ask him to stimulate you in other ways first. He can touch you with his hand until you orgasm and have sex afterwards or else you can try oral sex.

It takes time to explore each other and build compatability. You both need to be patient, communicate openly with each other and have fun

dont worry about him being too fast for now. It will get better in time. Just ask him to satisfy you in other ways.

[Boisdevie]

Just ask him to satisfy you in other ways.

Like buying her shoes and handbags?

Just another great example of why sex before marriage is rather a good thing. She's married a dud.

[pcmaster]

I think what Michelle mean is more spiritual connection like singing and reading poetry. Sex is just an animal instinct. There is so much other ways how to connect spiritualy. You both could play teather and play tennis, dance. Its not nessesary to eat, sleep and **** like rabbits.

[Boisdevie]

I think what Michelle mean is more spiritual connection like singing and reading poetry. Sex is just an animal instinct. There is so much other ways how to connect spiritualy. You both could play teather and play tennis, dance. Its not nessesary to eat, sleep and **** like rabbits.

Eating and sleeping are necessary. Shagging clearly isn't but she wants sex not a game or tennis.

[dem862]

People don't come out of the womb knowing how to have good sex. It takes practice and experience to get good at it with your partner. And then things that work with one partner may not work with another partner. There are no sexual duds, just people who need to learn how to satisfy their partner. Unless they are extremely selfish, anybody can do it. Duh.

[HDI]

I hear that extra thick condoms can slow the fella down because it is less sensitive. Also, get him to pull out and stop before he cums. (just like what smakie9 says)
Then, while he is "resting" do some other stuff for a few minutes and then go again, and stop, and again. Don't keep doing it over and over for too long but as a user said here, it is about retraining the brain if it is a masturbation based issue and as other users have said, this is a time to learn. You both may have areas to improve so sit back, relax, look up ways to spice things up, baths together, eating food off eachother. Go MAD! The internet can be your friend and your enemy here, you can get nice and considered replies and articles then you can get some scaremongering, especially if something is for sale later on in the page haha.

And finally, smile. Don't put pressure on him or let your own mind get carried away at times that there is something wrong. Take this opportunity for both of you to learn eachother.


All the best