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Thread: red flag or just odd

  1. #1
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    red flag or just odd

    I'll keep this simple and im not shit talking either.

    Met girl 2 months ago, went on many dates, text alot have been very close physicaly. Tuesday had a date at my house for her to cook dinner due to a bet she lost. Monday night we had talked and was told what i needed to get, tuesday mid to late day i asked what she wanted to drink since i didnt have much at home. She told me, about hour later after that was all set up i get a long text saying shes sorry her gf who is her landlord needed her to come home right after work and pick somthing out for her appartment before her landlord went and bought it. She told me to put the food in the freezer and give her a rain check. She did say shes sorry.

    I had asked later when would she like the raincheck and if thursday to sunday would work. Keep in mind her jacket, scarf and necklace are still laying on my kitchen chair. My mind is questioning and gaurd prob going up some too. After 2 months never pulling anything like this i could see excusing it.

    She always spend a lot of time kissing me and holding my hand, telling me good things and how she wants me, never wanting to go home either. I do know she recently moved into a new appartment maybe month ago and some things were not fully done yet. No one likes to get burned, we had a talk weeks ago how she does not front and she was very direct in telling me that to my face. I'm not gonna freak out there cuz i feel the ball is in her court now, if i blow up phone asking why why why i look like a fool. Ive never been needy with her.

    I dont feel she'd have me buy $20 worth of food to then blow me off. I will say if and when i do get to talk to her next i would say next time please give me more of a warning if you can. I got the news about 3.5 hours before she was going to be over

    I'd think if you'd want to do this on purpose (not saying she is because im not pointing the blame finger at anyone) you would do early on, not after 2 months and not after getting very pshycial with a person either. Maybe she feels bad and wants to let the dust settle down a few days, or its a test to see how i'd handel a conflict.
    Last edited by oldskool83; 20-10-11 at 11:27 PM.

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    Something came up, sh1t happens. The way you're going on about it, she should be wary, not you!
    "Never make someone your priority, when to them you are only an option"

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    The ball is in her court, if you are still concerned, phone her and ask her if you can help her out in any way. Beyond that there isn't much else to do. For the record though, I agree with you, I think something just came up and she has a full plate right now. Nothing wrong with that.

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    You seriously need to learn to change how you perceive things. How could she give you more notice when she probably didn't get any notice from her friend. BTW I think 3 1/2 hours is plenty of time really. There is nothing odd about her behaviour at all. Yes shit does happen and plans have to be changed, dates canceled. Dude life is too short to sweat over the small stuff, it's such a waste of energy. Just let it go!

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    yeah i can see she prob told me as soon as she heard the news which i do apprecate rather then say 8pm. you can't blame one to question, thats prob just from being burned bad a few times this year i think so i wont deny that. But i also wont take BS anymore. I'll see whats up in a few days and go from there. Normaly we text a few times a day, which has been nothing since she ask for a rain check, prob the sole reason for my awareness to increase.
    Last edited by oldskool83; 21-10-11 at 01:46 AM.

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    I'd be annoyed. She had plans - it's not nice to blow people off when something else comes up, especially when someone obviously had to go to some expense and effort in order to entertain you. She should have told her friend she already had plans.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    well yes i did piss me off, but i didnt let it be known i was pissed, just said between these days what works for ya to come over. seeing sum1 2 times a week for 2 months and then this would rub anyone prob i think.

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    I agree with Vashti. Maybe she's a little nervous to cook for you the first time and it being she had to do it because she "lost a bet" and not because she volunteered to do it for you.. (not sure of the circumstances there though).

    Offer to take her out on another date that doesn't entail her cooking for you alone (could she be afraid of what might happen when alone at your place?) and see if she hedges or turns you down for that. I'd not worry about it until or unless she hedges some more. She might just be unintentionally inconsiderate because there was only a short window for her to do what she had to do with her friend. If it were me though, I would have immediately re-scheduled and I would have suggested a the night and time that would be convenient. I also would have supplied the food if I were going to cook for you as taking in the fact that you've paid for a lot of outside dates thus far, it's the least I could do.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    i invited her over for a movie. no cooking involved, like i said her things are here. and shes been at my house a number of times already and has eaten there with me, and taken her clothing off so i dont think it has anything to do with being comfortable.

    id say shes got a week, if not ill call her and point blank say well left your things are my house, when ya stoping by to come get them. i dont really have time for BS, ive been thru nuff BS this year between 3 girls, i dont need a 4th. im getting defensive now and i can see it. she knows i like her also, if not i wouldnt keep asking or saying lets do somthing week after week.
    Last edited by oldskool83; 21-10-11 at 02:28 AM.

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    seemed to get more just escused, i told her her stuffs at my house and balls in her court now, im not running around after sum1, not after this amount of time, it kinda really pisses me off now. shit or get off the pot. i put my foot down. a week of excuses is a week ive made my mind up and started talking and have a date with another woman.

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    Good for you. You are right, there is no reason for you to wait around.

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    sucks cuz we clicked good and everything was going smooth, after 2 months this kinda shit shouldnt just go form hot to instand cold. id expect that with in the 1st 3 dates, not about 15.

    oh well other woman is very excited to see me tonight, maybe that wil pan out good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by oldskool83 View Post
    sucks cuz we clicked good and everything was going smooth, after 2 months this kinda shit shouldnt just go form hot to instand cold. id expect that with in the 1st 3 dates, not about 15.
    Are you sure you didn't do something that pissed her off?
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    did nothing, she was all over me last sunday, we talked monday and tuesday she cancelled. asked her when she wanted to come over she said shes busy working more hours and busy on a day off. ill take the hint. sunday i asked her if she wanted to rid on my motorcycle again she said shes not feeling good and dont deserve it. asked her she said she didnt wanna discuss it. ok fine, told her im interested but balls in your court.

    we spend 8 hours together last sunday and were close all day. asked her to be my gf after 2 months she said my answer scared her, fine then be distant. def wasnt rushing shit by any means.

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    Ahh well, then enjoy your date.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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