I flirted with someone else in front of him, and now I feel like poop....

[Nony]

We were at a festival, and I had one too many alcoholic drinks in me. I got close to the space heater-the festival was outdoors so it was cold, and the other guy that was there with me was a little drunk too so he was being flirty back. My boyfriend was there close by and he noticed everything. We never exchanged numbers, but the other guy just rubbed my lower back but I do remember being a little flirty with him back.

He barely mentioned it today but I know it upset him. He looks very sad about it and I feel like such an idiot for hurting him. I'm very much in love with him and we want to be together forever, and it was a huge mistake on my part. I've been really insecure lately with his ex-girlfriend coming in and out of his life recently (she picked up some stuff at the house they used to share a year ago-but he swore he was done with her). Plus we've been having some financial issues and alot of added stress.

How do I explain to him that I didn't mean to upset him? Will he trust me again? How can I build trust with him? I hate jealousy, and I've never thought I'd be the one making someone jealous. I feel like ****. He is a wonderful guy, I don't want to lose him, or be without him. I'd do anything to make him not be so sad anymore.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You should bring it up immediately, apologize, and tell him it won't happen again, though I imagine this was not the first or last time this has happened, maybe just the first time in front of him. Do not try to use that bullshit story about his ex as an excuse either. Own what you did and apologize.

[Nony]

This is actually the first time I've done this to him. But yeah, I really don't plan on doing it again and will try preventing anything like that to happen again. I wouldn't enjoy him doing the same so it was just a horrible move on my part.

Thanks for your advice, it really helps!

[3mK]

You mean to tell me he witnessed another man rubbing your back and didn't step in and say anything?

If I was in your boyfriends shoes I would've spoke up. Nothing macho or nothing. I just would've stepped in and taken his place.

[Nony]

He didn't say anything. Maybe it was because we were closely around other people and he didn't want to make a scene. The other guy was really drunk too-as was my boyfriend. It was mainly my fault though, maybe I could have just stepped away from that guy in the first place. Or ignored him.

I've noticed alot of guys who do it that way, but I think he's more rational, atleast moreso now than in his past.

[DalM0m]

I'm a flirty girl. It's just my personality. What you described would not have even shown up on my radar. If you think your guy was upset, talk to him about it. Explain that you didn't mean to upset him & remind him that it was all public. What goes on in front of his face is the same as behind his back so there's no reason to worry.

[Starnique]

That may work for you and your husband, but a lot of people don't go for that flirty mess. I don't. I'm a flirt also but when in a relationship, I don't flirt at all. Flirting can give people the wrong idea and I also don't tolerate another chic smiling all in my man face either. Its like get out his face, stay out his face and now. Just don't do it. It doesn't matter if he has reason to worry, you don't know that other guys intentions so just don't do it. Apologize and don't do it again. Whether its innocent or not, if my man doesn't like it, then I'm not gonna do it. Vice versa. Sometimes people can see shit that other people cant. Meaning, just because my guy may think she is being friendly. I know better. I'm a woman and I pick up on another woman behavior. Same with the OP guy. She didn't see the harm maybe, but he did.

[hatesthis]

I bet the fact the guy touched you and rubbed your back bothered your bf the most, and that you didn't shove the guy off you. I agree apologize and let him know you do love him and for him not to worry that anything bigger is happening with you.

[Wakeup]

I bet the fact that you didn't just go to him and apologize and promise (and mean it) that it would never happen again, instead you came here looking for answers for what you should do, means that your relationship with him isn't going to have much of a chance to survive very long anyway. Surely you can communicate with the man in your life to the point that you're capable of saying "sorry" when you've hurt him? Surely!