Messed up....

[lolly25]

My boyfriend on 3 months had a big talk with me last night and considerd breaking up with me. He said that he feels that he is not making me happy and this is getting to him and does not think it can work. I obviously got upset, said that he does make me happy and asked him a few times if we can give things another go. It was horrible.

He then got upset, started crying and said I didnt want to hurt you, I do care about you and like you but I dont know if things can work. He then sat there for a bit and said that we can give things another go.

He said that he wants to have some space tho, he does not want to communicate every day and due to work sometimes he has the need to be on his own. He said I dont want you getting upset about this as it is not anything that you have done its just me. He said we need to start again, take things slow, dont have any sleep overs and see each other once or twice a week max.

Im pleased that we are going to give things a go, but im now scared and dont know how to act. I have been hurt, cheated on and abused in the past. I trust him so much, like him and care about him and really do think things can work.

He has messaged me today to see how I am and wanted to know that im ok. I did not expect this and was not going to message him today. I did reply a couple of hours later to let him know that im ok and asked how he was as he has been off work ill.

What do I do know? How do we make things work/how can I show him that im fine with how everything is? Do I need to let him make all the contact first or should I make it so that it's equal?

Please help. I really dont know what to do and I want to make things work!

[The_bobb]

Do what he asks... i'm serious. Chances are good he's wondering if he really wants to be with you. So do it... Don't talk to him as much. Don't see him as much. When you guys DO hang out, don't let it get to sex every time. These will take a lot of self control on your part. But i think you can do it.

Basically, LET him miss YOU.

And if he decides to move on without you. So be it. You sound like a cool person. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding someone better.

But i'm guessing after a few weeks of his own medicine, he'll be begging for the same old contact. Just don't give in too soon.

[alovehangoverr]

It's only been 3 months and he wants to break it off? I'd let him. I realize you have strong feelings for him, but from what you said it sounds like he wants out but feels guilty about it.

As for doing what he wants.. I wouldn't. I mean, are you really doing any of this because YOU want it too? Or are you simply following his rules? Are you really ok with only being able to talk to him when he wants, being able to see him when he wants, etc?

That's not a relationship.

You're going to live in fear that you'll mess things up or break one of his rules and he'll be gone. It's not a fair situation. A relationship is a compromise, not one person saying "these are the rules, follow them and I'll stick around."

[The_bobb]

Alright Alove makes a very good point too. In the end YOU have to decide if you can live with his terms.

I forgot it was only a 3 month old relationship. The other option is to stay with him. Do what he asks, but i'd look around, go on dates. Because it sounds like he'll probably end it anyway. I wouldn't sleep with anyone until he ends it though.

But there's no rules against going out with "friends". Since he's not spending time with you anyway it shouldn't be a problem.

Up to you which option sounds better to YOU.

But i agree with Alove, he'll probably end up leaving you anyway.