How do i?

**invisiblegirl** · 06-10-10, 02:03 AM

Me and my boyfriend have broken up after a year together. Always has been a up and down relationship. My mental health was most of the cause of our problems. I have been getting help and doing really well. We started bickering the other day and i made a silly comment (not worth splitting over) but he said he is fed up of everything. All the ups and downs. He has told me it is ''over for good at this moment in time'' so i said what you mean ''moment in time''. he said ''i might change my mind'' but claims he isnt interested anymore. Says he still loves me and we are civil to eachother. He keeps going hot and cold with me. We had a cuddle earlier he held me tight which was lovely. I have heard about reverse psychcology? How do ya do it? I need advice/opinions or any support. Feel free to tell me your situation or share your storys as i am on these boards for support and to give it aswell. Thank you for reading xxxxxxxxx

**IncognitoSir** · 06-10-10, 02:55 AM

You need not worry about reverse psychology but you need to tend to your mental health. Let him know you're working on it and you'd like to get back with him as your health improves. Reverse psychology is like tricking someone into something......you would not want to trick someone you care about into anything, especially a relationship. Your health is the issue, so take care of it and go from there. Sounds like he still has interest in you but he's hot and cold about it because he's confused about you.

**DrDrew** · 06-10-10, 08:31 PM

Good advice Incongnitosir, the idea of reverse psychology isn't really the best way to go about this. When you improve your state of mind, your self-concept, and start to feel that you would want to be around yourself....then your partner (and others) will see this and want to be around you too. Best wishes.

**invisiblegirl** · 06-10-10, 10:18 PM

i will forget the reverse psychology thing seems a dangerous game. i dont want to play games. i am serious. at the moment i am definately working on myself. not been needy of him, not begging him, not asking for another chance. i just give him a hug every now and then. i am going to show him that i can be confident and i can change and be stable enough. he said last night if i show him then there 'maybe' a chance. he said he doesnt want to discuss the relationship just to have peace and quiet and give him space. i am currently doing it.

**Agape** · 07-10-10, 02:56 AM

Originally Posted by invisiblegirl

Me and my boyfriend have broken up after a year together. 1) Always has been a up and down relationship. 2) My mental health was most of the cause of our problems. I have been getting help and doing really well. 3) We started bickering the other day and i made a silly comment (not worth splitting over) but 4) he said he is fed up of everything. All the ups and downs. He has told me it is ''over for good at this moment in time'' so i said what you mean ''moment in time''. he said ''i might change my mind'' but claims he isnt interested anymore.

Says he still loves me and we are civil to eachother. He keeps going hot and cold with me. We had a cuddle earlier he held me tight which was lovely. I have heard about reverse psychcology? How do ya do it? I need advice/opinions or any support. Feel free to tell me your situation or share your storys as i am on these boards for support and to give it aswell. Thank you for reading xxxxxxxxx

1) relationship always up/down
2) You have an issue with your mental health. . .you've been getting help
3) Down moment -->
4) Not just is the relationship up/down, it's off/on as well?

the second part, seems like you are still friends but this relationship isn't working out . . . you've been broken up after a year, things don't seem to be working out. . . if you don't like the up/down and he is off/on then it's best you move on.

**invisiblegirl** · 07-10-10, 03:25 AM

i love him, want him, want it to work. feel sick now. cant eat anything no appetite.

**invisiblegirl** · 07-10-10, 11:29 PM

PROGRESS HOPEFULLY .......Last night we watched a film and asked him if he wanted to lay next to me on sofa and he DID. wooooo. then half way through the film i start stroking his belly as i always do that anyway. Then i tried it on with him and he didnt push me away. So we went to bedroom and kissed/hugged/slept together and even after he gave me a cuddle. This morning ...hes been fine with me. I have given him a cuddle and we had a kiss just a little peck. He said.....''dont think were getting back together just yet i want to see if you can do it and start trusting me and if you can't its still over i don't wanna give you false hope''....so i said if i can do it and show you can we get back together he said ''yes but take it slow''

**IncognitoSir** · 08-10-10, 09:06 AM

I dont mean to crush your dreams so to speak but you need to realize that this is not going to be a 1 or 2 week turnaround. Working on yourself requires WORK! WORK is not easy and it's not a change that happens quickly. In other words it will come to light very easily if you're not actually making any changes and working on your short comings.

**sparkle_jello** · 08-10-10, 09:24 AM

From what I've seen couples don't always split over the big issue they have, it's usually a bunch of little ones. My husband and I have had a few blow outs over our time together, but the thing he said that made him the most miserable was bickering over the little things. We had to work on it.

**invisiblegirl** · 08-10-10, 10:54 AM

we r back together

**Only-virgins** · 08-10-10, 10:59 AM

What is this "cuddle" . Can't people just say we have sex these days anymore?

**sparkle_jello** · 08-10-10, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

What is this "cuddle" . Can't people just say we have sex these days anymore?

Maybe there was no sex. Cuddling is where people lay all on top of each other and strain their neck and other such limbs to feel close without actually having the peni invading the vagi.

**Agape** · 09-10-10, 12:45 AM

Originally Posted by sparkle_jello

Maybe there was no sex. Cuddling is where people lay all on top of each other and strain their neck and other such limbs to feel close without actually having the peni invading the vagi.

Yeah. . . I use the word cuddling for 'intimate hugging' . . . not quite animated sex with clothes on, but just close holding and caressing

**invisiblegirl** · 09-10-10, 06:22 PM

i thought we was back together but......

he still saying he doesnt know wether to give it another go. says hes scared to get close again. says he wants me but finding it hard to be with me again. i have lost him forever i know i have.

nothing i can do

**Only-virgins** · 10-10-10, 01:50 AM

Originally Posted by sparkle_jello

Maybe there was no sex. Cuddling is where people lay all on top of each other and strain their neck and other such limbs to feel close without actually having the peni invading the vagi.

I wouldn't last more then 5 minutes with out trying to poke into some hole.

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