Girl Problem ;(

[raniosman]

I have a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. I go away to Univserity, away from home, its about 5 hours away. We have been friends for two years and became a couple this past August and then school started...so we didn't have time to do much together not even intimate relations.

So 2 weeks ago i went and visited her for a day and stayed overnight. Where we u know. After that, a couple days later, she had been fading away, has not been energetic, not saying all the stuff she used to say, just dying down on me.

So today i confronted her about it and she said "i'am getting bored...i really am" and that since i only visited her for such a short while, i got her to:
1) crave wanting me.. .not being guilty when talking to other guys
2) remind her of her old ways of flirting with guys (shes 18, im 19)
I really don't understand this.
And we told me that when she was at a party last Sat, she was really drunk and high and that she made out with a guy but felt completely miserable for doing that.

So she wants to 'take a break'...i don't understand this break business. The only rule is that we don't date other people. That the purpose of it is to see if we need to move on to other people or that we just needed the 'space'

This is my first relationship and her 4th...and she always said for all she had commitment issues but because her last relation was a 'friend with benefit' sort of thing and when she lost her virginity to that guy, she regretted it because it wasn't 'true' and she had stopped it half way through. And told me that she wanted a serious relationship. I thought she was going to change and actually meant it, so 2 months later we hooked up. I love her greatly, i have been there for her all the time, i keep my cell at high volume at night for whenever she needs anything. I have been treating her good as gold.

I dunno, i don't want to vent all my problems to u guys but i need advice, i don't really know what to think of all this.

[xwfuro]

Well firstly is that your young bro, i am only one year older than you so i know what your feeling. Number two is that its a long distance relationship which is super hard for many reasons. I think the best thing you could do is not make this a very serious relationship right now, simply because living five ours apart leaves little time to closely bond to one another.

Basically its long distance so trying to make it really serious is sure to backfire since you havent been a couple very long. If she has already hooked up with someone else id say dont lose any sleep over this and keep it as friends with benefiets until you can see more of one another,

[anachronistic]

Well at the least, she admitted it. From what you've shared, I would guess that she wants to get intimate with another guy. Any girl that has commitment issues should be avoided for relationships, unless you're just looking for something superficial.

Besides that, you're 5 hours away. This relationship doesn't sound like it's worth all the grief. Why don't you just break up with her and date some college girls?

Don't take it so rough, people around that age don't understand what it means to have commitment, to have a relationship and whatnot. There are a select few that do, just don't be disappointed and don't give up your hopes.

[ExpoNovak]

Ok, the lets "take a break" business can be summed up as "I'm going to go mess around with other people while still keeping you around." it's the chickenshit way out. It's the "Let me look for a replacement, but don't leave until I find one, ok?" Of course its a good idea to add that "but you can't date other people" rule. This doest not mean that random sexual encounters are off limits. This is long distance, she's unfulfilled, you're unfulfilled because you're unhappy and gas costs way too much these days to drive five hours. If she's bored man, its over.

[Gigabitch]

I'm sorry, sweetie, but she just effectively broke up with you. You don't have a girlfriend any more. You can man up and end it or sit by the phone waiting for the final goodbye when she finds someone else. Your choice.

This is no reflection on you. Long-distance is nearly impossible to maintain even when you're both 100% sure of one another and you have a solid plan to relocate soon. What you two did by entering into this kind of relationship was set each other up for failure.

I hope you don't get too heartbroken over this. You'll find someone else, I promise you will.