Loving, but unwilling

[Osleston]

I am British, she is from the US and for the past 3 years I .....I have made our relationship work.

We met, lived together, worked together and then went traveling together. She moved to Europe and I being Eurpean was able to visit her ever 6 weeks or so for a few at a time, spent Christamas together, travelled to Italy together and spent New Year. It was rocky at times and on one occasion i had to go visit her because she was confused. Which was resolved on my arrival. Come Summer I moved out there and worked, after 2 months she went traveling and then returned to the US. I got a job that was going to take me away from her so i thought id suprise her so i flew over and suprised her. On my last day i found out my job didnt exisit and i ended up staying in the states for 3 months. Throughout our relationship i have alwas suggested we travel explore together. She decided to go to Hawaii with a friend, and I returned home, eant money and saved so i could go and see her. I went ou there ofr 2 months. We decided that we would move to new zealand after returning 6 weeks later she ended it over the phone. I decieded to try my luck in australia, and ever so often she would get in touch, saying she missed me. I got drunk and beliving she felt she made a mistake and couldnt afford to see me, got on a plane to come see her. I arrived and found she had been seeing some1 else... akward a tough few weeks, then one day she flips and onceagain shes madly in love, we travel across country and its brilliant we arrive at our destinatation a ski mountain she chose to work at with a friend while we werre apart and the guy she was seein turns up, the people she lives with are all his best friends. Talk about a rock and a hard place, and now i have to share most days in this guys presence

Anyways i leave in a few weeks and I am so confused, went its good its amazing when its bad its sucks its so rocky, and Ive done more than i should. Why do i continue to love her

[smackie9]

We desire most what we can't have. Love makes us blind which makes it so much harder to let go. Maybe it's time to work on that.