What Changed?

[GodelEscher]

I am having difficulties deciphering the responses of a female friend, whom I initially met on the internet, but have now met in person. I'm just going to give a bit of a backstory, and then state my current problem. I initially started talking to her something like four years ago, when we were both in relationships. We had always got on really well, and after about a year of talking, after she broke up with her boyfriend, I found out she liked me. I liked her too, but I didn't say anything, due to being a relationship. My girlfriend at this time was not a fan of this female friend of mine, and as well as being slightly crazy, blocked her from Facebook, and forbade contact. After that ended, about two years ago now, I still had her number on my phone, so I thought I would text her on the off-chance it was still her number and we could talk again. It was, and I was ecstatic -- absolutely elated, I really was. I found that she just had got with a boyfriend, and throughout their relationship we talked a reasonable amount, every now and then. I had girlfriends in that time, but I always had a slight thing for her. They broke up in September. We started talking daily, and bonded quite considerably.

We told each other that we 'liked' each other during this time. We sent postcards, we talked about how mysterious it was that we ever met, and were talking. We'd discuss matters of wonderful depth. We'd create our own little world to talk in. We said we loved each other. We've met twice since then. Once in October, and about a week ago recently. I felt like many things have changed since our romantic messages to each other through October to about December, and now. For one, we don't send each other the romantic messages anymore. I asked her if she liked me in mid-December, when I first started to sense that things were different, and she told me that she did, but that, considering she had only just broken out of a relationship of two years, she was 'trying not to', as she has 'not been alone, emotionally or socially in a long while, and I'd like to be', needing to be 'happily independent from everything I've had for the past two years', which seemed fair enough. I didn't want to pester. But I am slightly worried, as now, we talk less regularly and the messages are not as high-blown and romantic as they were before. She came to see me about a week ago, but that was slightly different. The conversation felt less deep, though maybe I'm imagining that. I missed the romanticism deeply. She called my hometown which she visited lovely, and I responded with a (what I now see as somewhat mawkish) text saying that she made it 'all the lovelier'. I got no response to that, nor any response to a Facebook message I sent a couple of days ago. I feel I should stop any sort of messages of the type mentioned above, and hopefully just leave her do what she needs to. But I need advice: is there any way of the two of us getting back to that wonderful state from before? Did it likely only happen as a 'rebound' thing after a break-up? (but it felt so much more intense and meaningful!), and why do you think she had this phase where she would say such exalting things about me such as 'sometimes I think the reason I like being alone is so that I can speak to you', and that 'I was the most conspicuous concept in her life', and many other wonderful things, and then it go to nothing? I'll be in very close proximity to her next year due to university study, so we could far more easily meet in person. What ought I to do?

[smackie9]

Dude it's over plain and simple. You guys just went through an infatuation stage that lasts for about 3 to 6 months. It fizzled out and it happens.

It is possible she met someone, she is talking to her ex again, or the infatuation wore off.

What to do? stop talking to her. Nothing is going to change, it's over.

[GodelEscher]

Interesting, why are you so sure? I mean, we've liked each other before, and we seemed to certainly click in a way I haven't with people I've been infatuated with before. In addition to that, she also said she wanted to be alone for a bit, why couldn't it be that she just wants to be left alone? I don't want to seem like I don't appreciate your ideas, or seem in denial, as I acknowledge I might be wrong, I'd just like to know your reasons.

[smackie9]

It's just the way life works sometimes. You are being typical of someone who was in a whirl wind romance that ended as quickly as it started. You don't want to hear it.