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Thread: What is True Love?

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    What is True Love?

    It seems like everyone has a different definition of love, but what is the most important attribute of true love? Is it chemistry, romance, sexual passion, friendship, intense yearning to be with someone, a deep connection, selfless interest in their well-being, everything? It seems like I've had some relationships in the past that I thought were true love, but then they turned out to be disasters. In just a sentence or two, will you describe the most defining attributes of a true love?

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    The problem with the idea of true love is that when people expect to find it they expect it to be easy and for nothing to ever go wrong. Life and love are not like that. Love requires work to maintain, just like anything else in life. You don't get a beautiful garden without doing some regular weeding and feeding. Love is the same.
    'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.

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    I agree with both of you. The OP has the elements of love, but Minx knows that LASTING love takes work over time. Love, as with other emotions, comes and goes, and it takes work to stoke the fires again. Love also changes over time. It starts out as a fiery romance with high emotions. It then tends to be an undercurrent of some type of connection to a person, subtle, but strong, and always there.

    And sometimes there's that mysterious connection one cannot understand. I wonder if that's pheromones.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    What once thought to be "true love" may not end up to be true love. As humans we are constantly evolving. Things in our life always changes. Events happen to us in all stages of life. There are couples who may get married at 20 yrs old and had found their true love....then divorce 30 years later at 50 yrs old. This happens all the time. No one can forsee the future. "true love" is just an expression we used when we are totally in love with our partner and imagine a forever with them. As we know because many of us have gone through break-ups.... most of the time what once was a feeling of "true love" is now a feeling of just a past memory....we move on, we meet new people and we always strive to find "true love".

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    I suppose there is no True love, just the moments of Emotions... :-), or i haven't experienced it... yet.

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    There probably is no such thing as true love in my opinion.

    Love is very probably a combination of hormones and genes and neurobiology. When we like someone, we actually like their genes.
    Last edited by aspie guy; 12-01-12 at 01:06 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aspie guy View Post
    There probably is no such thing as true love in my opinion.

    Love is very probably a combination of hormones and genes and neurobiology. When we like someone, we actually like their genes.
    I love a guy in a great pair of genes... :p

    (sorry, can't resist a bad joke when I see the opportunity for one)
    'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.

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    It really is all about attraction, chemistry and luck. More than 50% of marriages thought that they found their "true love" and would be married forever.....statistics prove us otherwise.

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    I disagree with bcgirl in part. Sure, the biological components of attraction (and "chemistry" which is a word we use for attractons we can't describe) are important. Sure, there is a certain element of luck when you invest your emotions in a stranger. But I believe that most of the relationships that fail, fail because of neglect and not bad luck.

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    Love endures.

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    I disagree with bcgirl in part. Sure, the biological components of attraction (and "chemistry" which is a word we use for attractons we can't describe) are important. Sure, there is a certain element of luck when you invest your emotions in a stranger. But I believe that most of the relationships that fail, fail because of neglect and not bad luck.
    yes many fail due to neglect. But also there are tons of marriages/relationships that fail due to other reasons too. Take for example a couple who marry each other in their 20's. The wife used to be 110 pounds and fit. After 20 years and 3 kids later...this wife is 150 pounds. The husband doesn't find her that attractive anymore.... he starts fantasizing about 25 yr olds with firm tits and a body like megan fox. This is a very common case for many relationships. And it's not due to neglect. It's really due to luck. Many women just don't have it in their genes to stay 110 pounds all their lives.

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